1) Identify the Problem: I don't mean by blaming others for the situation you are in. I mean, take a closer look at yourself to figure out why you do the things you do. Figure out why you attract certain people who may not be good in your life. Figure out why you act out and rebel. Figure out why things are not headed in the direction you want them to go. Sometimes this takes a long time to figure out. But, try talking to your friends or your parents or maybe even a professional to figure out the root of the problem.
2) Make Goals: Once you have figured out what the problem is, you need to find out how to fix them. Change won't happen overnight, but you can do small things everyday to help reach your ultimate goal. You need to create a model in your mind on the person you ultimately want to be. What does that person look like? How do they react to situations? What are their values? What do they look for in different relationships and friendships? Make a mental or written list on the qualities of the kind of person you want to be. Use this list to help write your long terms goals. From there, make short term goals you can achieve everyday. For example, if your long term goal is to attract better friends into your life....make short terms goals that can help achieve that. Some short terms goals could include, doing more activities that involve other people you can meet. Join another club or try being friendly to more people on a daily basis.
3) PUT THE PLAN IN MOTION: Don't just sit on these goals and let them get dusty. Actually attempt to change your life. Even when you feel like crying, just get outside. Trust me, it helps just to go outside and get some fresh air. A change in scene can immediately make you feel better. Once you are out and about, follow some things on that list. Change starts with you not with others. You need to become proactive if you are serious about this.
4) Change the Way You Think: This one is the HARDEST step. No matter what you do or what you try, if you are going through a rough time your thoughts will be racing all the time. Sometimes it feels no matter what you do to distract yourself, you just can't do it. However, this attitude of thinking you have no control over your thoughts is what gets you into deep trouble. YOU and ONLY YOU have control over your thoughts. You can CHOOSE to be happy. What I found to be the most helpful in changing the way I think is to not be so SELFISH. Start thinking about what you can do for others instead of your own feelings and sadness. Focus your sorrow or your anger into a cause or a passion. Realize that other people have problems whether they be big or small. Innocent people in other countries are getting bombed while you sit here crying about your problems. That is the most extreme case you can look at, but other people are going through their own problems and their own heartache. Maybe try and help them with their problems. Go out and volunteer or just help a friend out. Focus your mind on something other than YOU. It will help, I promise.
5) Do Things You Enjoy: My last point is to just do things you enjoy. This may seem so impossible to do because you feel like you can't enjoy anything. But, after you have focused your mind on something other than yourself you can find time to do the things you used to enjoy. Go on a small trip somewhere, go outside, go for a hike or a swim, or go exercise and listen to your favorite music. This will even bring the smallest bit of happiness into your life. Surround yourself with people you love and life should get a little easier.
I know change can be really hard, but sometimes you really do need things to hit rock bottom before they get better. Just keep that in mind and realize that other people are going through even worse things than you. Just count your blessings. Hope this helps you all out!
Love,
Alexa
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