Hey Jealousy

Jealousy always seems to get even the best of us. It's natural to feel jealous sometimes even if most of the time you are pretty confident. Jealousy only eats up your beauty. Have more faith in yourself, you got something that other people don't. Jealousy can also be a major relationship killer especially when you become so insecure that you start becoming controlling too. It may also seem as though there is no way to get rid of that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach. Comparing yourself to others will never make you feel better, it will only hinder your full potential. Comparing yourself to others arises from low self-esteem and can create a lot of jealousy. So, I have compiled a list of ways to stop this green eyed monster from taking over your beautiful and kickass self. 

1) Do things that make you feel good and sexy: I know I personally feel a lot better about myself when I participate in activities that I enjoy. If you wake up in one of those slumps where you feel insecure and not your best, kick yourself out of bed and go do something you enjoy. For example, I have found that Zumba makes me feel really sexy and free. It releases a lot of stress, helps me get fit, and makes me feel sexy. When there isn't a Zumba class to go to, I listen to music/go to the gym or hang with friends, and maybe read a good book and tan outside. This time to yourself will allow you to get your mind of things, feel sexier, and feel a hell-of-a-lot happier.

2) Stop Asking Bad Questions!!!!: I don't know why people do this one, including myself. Why the hell are we asking ourselves and the people around us questions we don't necessarily want to know the answer to? This will only lead us to disappointment and insecurity. For example, if you are with a new guy or girl, why would you feel the need to ask them all sorts of questions about their exes or their past history? I mean I personally know why. We are all half curious, but also have some insecurity about how we compare to others. Even if we may be curious about people's pasts or other people's lives, we shouldn't ask questions we know will make ourselves feel insecure. Instead focus on the present, your relationship, and yourself. 

3) Be The Best Version of You Possible: What makes me feel better about myself is realizing my true potential. When we compare ourselves to others we have unrealistic expectations for ourselves. Instead, why not just realize your strong points and accentuate those. For example, you may be staring at the hot, tan, skinny, tall, blonde/brunette girl your ex used to date or hook-up with. You might be thinking, how can I look like that? You might think to yourself how can I become taller, tanner, skinnier, blonder, and smarter. If your short, like me, being tall will never happen unless you always wear heels. So, instead embrace who you are. For me, I used to think being short wasn't beautiful, but I slowly realized I love being tiny. I can be picked up by tall men, one of my weaknesses haha! Aside from the things you can't change, work on playing up the great points of yourself. If you have beautiful eyes, play up your make up to show them off. If you have great legs or a stomach, then show them off too. Also, if you still feel insecure you can always just try and be healthy. I'm not talking about trying to become a stick, but just being fit. Go to the gym regularly or when you can, tan during the summer (make sure to wear sunblock!!), get a new haircut, or try and improve your intelligence or your skills in a new hobby you enjoy. All this should help you feel better about yourself in no time!

4) Talk It Out: If you are feeling insecure, sometimes the best thing to do is just to talk it out. Vent to your friends, your family, or a professional. For the people who you can really open up to, let it all out. Sometimes getting things off your chest can just make you feel better instead of letting it foster inside. Also, if you are feeling jealous in a relationship it is always beneficial to talk about your feelings. Don’t over do it though because you can scare your partner. Just tell them your feelings and maybe why you could be feeling this way. Who knows, maybe than can help you and reassure you that things are okay. Just make sure to not control what your partner says or does. Let them help you and not you trying to control them.

5) Be Conscious and Don’t Depend On Praise: Lastly, always be conscious of your own feelings and really try to get to the root of the issue. Why is it that you feel this way? Also, never depend on praise and compliments from others to make you feel confident. Confidence really does come from within and it’s really hard to train yourself to become that way. It doesn’t come easy and it takes a lot of work. 

Hopefully, following my advice can help some of you feel more confident and less jealous of others. In the end, we should all really help each other out and make other people feel better about themselves too. Our society doesn’t just consist of one person, it consists of all of us. Thus, we need to work on being friendlier to each other instead of putting other people down to make ourselves feel better. 

Hope this helps!

-Alexa

Summer Fling, Don't Mean A Thing

The thought of summer flings are always in the back of every single girl's mind and some guys. Having time of from school and the warmth of the beautiful summer air creates the perfect opportunity for a summer romance to come about. Meeting new people, sometimes with the thrill of knowing it's a short-term arrangement, can be exhilarating. Summer flings can be amazing, but what happens when time is up at the end of summer? Sometimes one person falls for the other person and the other doesn't. Sometimes both partners want to continue the arrangement through the year. The question is how do you have a successful summer fling without anyone getting their feelings hurt? I hope to answer that question for you all in this post. Maybe I can help some of you enjoy your short-term romance rather than dread the end of it. So, here are my tips for maintaining a summer fling:

1) Communication: Just as in any other kind of relationship, communication is key! It is really vital to know that you two are on the same page about where things are headed and what you want to get out of the situation. Sometimes people rush into things and enjoy the moment without thinking. While this can be fun, it's important to take a step back and ask yourself what exactly is going on here. Having a conversation with your partner about what you want from this can clear up any confusion you both have. Talk about what you want, where things are headed, and what you are going to do at the end of summer.

2) Throw Your Laundry List Out: I don't mean your actual list of chores, I'm talking about your list of high standard qualities you have so meticulously put together of your future partner. Summer flings aren't meant to be serious, unless you both choose to carry the romance on past summer. So why be so picky? If you are attracted to the person and enjoy being around them, who cares if they aren't interning at a hedge fund or at a law firm and instead work as a waiter? Who cares what their beliefs are? This is meant to be a non-serious-short-term relationship. Also, sometimes it is better to look for people who don't have the boyfriend qualities you want, that way you may not be prone to falling for them. 

3) You, not Jesus, Take The Wheel: Always be in control of your summer romances. You need to make sure you make the most of those eight weeks of non-committed fun. Don't waste your time chasing after someone who is not interested. A challenge is pointless for the little time summer has to offer. Set a timeline and stick to it. Don't waste those few weeks of endless fun.

4) A Good Book Always Has An Ending: If you guys so choose to end things when the leaves change colors and the students head back to school, don't look back. Every good thing sometimes have to come to an end. A summer fling is supposed to be enjoyable, but it's called a summer fling for a reason. Sometimes there is pleasure in things that are meant to only happen once. You enjoy the experience and then it just becomes an amazing memory. Also, if you and your partner don't agree on ending things it can create friction and lead to a bad ending, leaving sour memories for you both. Simply if you both realize you want to end things, keep it amicable. No hard feelings, just great memories and a fun summer. What I am saying above is for people either choosing not to keep the romance going through the year or people who don't agree with their partners on what to do. If both of you decide to keep what you have through out the year, make sure you both are on the same page. I will also write another blog post on how to make a summer romance last through the year. 

I hope these tips help make things clearer on how to have more of a successful summer romance. If you guys have any questions or advice to ask me, comment below or use the contact form box on the left side of my blog. For a list of places to meet people to have a summer fling with, check below.

Until next time,

Alexa

Places to meet possible summer flings:

1) Your job

2) Music Festivals

3) Volunteer opportunities/retreats

4) Summer Classes

5) Tinder/Grindr

Words for Wednesday: Good Relationships

Love is what makes the world go round. But, is all love healthy? Loving the wrong person can be very toxic, but also consuming relationships can be toxic too. It's important to know how to have good relationships and avoid ones that can take a toll on you and the people around you. I'm not even talking about abusive relationships. Relationships can be toxic even if there is no abuse going on. There really isn't that much awareness of what healthy love looks like. The modern perceptions of love are somewhat screwed up if you ask me. So here is my take on a what a healthy/good relationship looks like.

Healthy Relationships: The best way I can describe a healthy relationship is a quote from the poet Khalil Gibran: "Let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of heaven dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your soles."

It wasn't until this year that I really understood what this phrase meant. My mom actually shared this quote with me last summer and at the time I was still too inexperienced to know what real healthy love was. The quote just didn't stick with me until I discovered myself and my own passions when I went off to college this past year. I realized that love isn't supposed to be so consuming that all you do is want to spend time with each other. I realized that it's very important to not spend every waking moment with that person, but instead have some space for your own time to work on your own passions and creativity. The best kind of love is where you can spend the time apart to work on your passions, but then come together as one in the end of the day and support each other. You want to be like two pillars holding up a building. You both are individuals and have your own passions, but you can come together to support a big statue, like a building, with the love that you have built. In my own opinion, this is the definition of a healthy relationship. Of course there are other factors that play into a relationship and I have listed some below, but I think this one is the most important of them all. 

How To Have A Healthy Relationship:

1) COMMUNICATION!!! I cannot stress this one enough, seriously though. Every time a friend asks me for relationship advice, it is usually a communication problem. If you can't communicate honestly and openly with your significant other, how is it possible to have a lasting relationship with them? Say you have problem with something your partner is doing, but you are too scared to tell them...how do you expect them to fix the problem? It sure as hell won't get fixed by beating around the bush. You have to be able to trust your partner in order to have proper communication and if you don't trust them, how can you have an intimate relationship with them?

2) Similar Values and Philosophies: I have found it extremely important for couples to share the same values and philosophies. Having shared interests is important, but having shared values will strengthen the foundation of your relationship immensely. When your partner's values clashes with yours, it creates tremendous discomfort in the relationship.

3) Do Productive Things Together: Instead of just laying around with your significant other, try something new with them. Learn how to dance, play a sport, cook, fish, or play an instrument together. Even travel to new places together and I'm not talking big distances, just something outside of your norm. Doing new things like this can bond couples together and create great memories. Not only is this beneficial to your relationship, but it also benefits you alone.

Hopefully this helps some of you out there realize what you want and don't want in a relationship! If any of you have any questions you can comment on here or use the contact me section in the sidebar.

Love,
Alexa

What I Am Loving This Summer

Summer. Hair gets lighter, Skin gets darker, Water gets warmer, Drinks get colder, Music gets louder, Nights get longer and Life gets better. Hopefully this applies to most of you out there, but if not try some of the things that I am loving this summer.

1) 5 Seconds of Summer: This band has completely taken over my life and my happiness. I remember hearing their first track, She Looks So Perfect, during my last few weeks of my freshman year at college. Not only was the song super catchy, but it was also quite a well thought out song lyrically. I think the song has the ability to appeal to a wide variety of people. After reading up on the band, I discovered a few other songs that have not been released yet and they are really good! My favorite genre of music happens to be punk rock, but this band far exceeds my expectations and really can appeal to a wide range of music tastes. So take a listen to their new album when it comes out July 22.

2) Bucket Lists: I have always been a fan of creating bucket lists, but this summer I have really made it a point to complete more things on my list. Bucket lists are great for pushing yourself to try new things and who knows maybe you will find a new passion or hobby. Summer is also the perfect time to work on checking off those things you have always wanted to do. For inspiration, here are some things on my summer bucket list: watch the sunrise, ride a ferris wheel, spend a day on the boat, go to a rave, go stargazing, go on a road trip, travel to a new place, go camping, go kayaking, and go on a picnic.

3) Suits: Well, ladies and gentleman, Suits is back on this summer on the USA network and I must say I've never been happier. If you haven't watched Suits before, you need to go to Netflix, Amazon Prime, or some illegal site now. Besides Breaking Bad, this show has been a huge addiction for me. I already love law and legal studies, but this show solidifies my passion for it. Even if you don't like law, this show will make you want to be Harvey Spector. You can catch the latest episodes of Suits on the USA Network at 9pm on Wednesdays.

4) Summer Drives: I can totally speak for myself and a few other people I know that summer drives are one of the most relaxing things to do. I just love going on an open road filled with beautiful fields of grass and flowers, rolling all the windows down, blasting my favorite music, and jamming out hardcore while cruising around. Seriously, there is nothing better than this. It's like a little tour of all the beauty summer has to offer. The amazing weather, the great tunes, and the beauty around us can easily add to our happiness.

5) Letting it be and going with the flow: If it is one thing I learned this summer it's not just trying to be productive, but it's also just going with the flow. I was so obsessed with finding an internship this summer that I was letting all that stress get to me. The stress was killing my summer vibes and ruining possibly one of the best summers of my life. I literally tried everything and applied to even the smallest internships. Every place was telling me that I was "too young and only a freshman." Well I finally learned that if no place will take me even with a killer resume, I should just enjoy my summer while it lasts. I don't mean to just lay around and do nothing all day, but I mean do what you love and see where this summer takes you. Start up a project you have always dreamed about or work on a business idea you have thought about doing for ages. Now is the time when you can really try and pursue your dreams. Get that part-time job if you need the money and then follow your dreams when your not working. And of course, when you're not doing either of those things, RELAX! Enjoy your summer! Follow your passions, hang with your friends, have a summer fling, spend time with your family, and most importantly yourself! Don't stress over things that are not happening right now because what will be will be. Just enjoy your time and do the things you have always dreamed of. Now is your time!

I hope you all are having one kickass summer and don't forget to post lots of photos in the process!

Love,
Alexa