Fall In Love With These Autumn Date Ideas

The change from summer to fall is difficult for most of us, especially with the start of the new school year. But, fall is also an exciting time when the leaves start to change color and the air gets cooler. Whether you're going on a date this weekend or just hanging out with your friends, these date ideas are perfect for this autumn season.

1) Go Apple Picking: Fall is the perfect time to take that special someone, or even a friend, apple picking. After the date, you two can even make apple pie or other delicious apple desserts.

2) Visit A Pumpkin Patch: Pick out some pumpkins you and your date can carve and decorate later. You can display them in your dorm room or outside your house/apartment. Don't forget to take pictures as well!

3) Get Cozy with a Bonfire: Break out the chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers and get cozy with your date. The crisp weather makes this the perfect excuse to cuddle up with each other.

4) Head Over to Your Local Farmers Market: Take your date out for day of local shopping. Pick up some apple cider or some local crafts. Spend the day exploring the area and seeing what your town has to offer.

5) Actually Go to A Football Game: Even if you don't like football, going to the game could be a great time to enjoy the fall weather and a perfect time to get to know your date.

6) Have Some Friendly Competition: Who said a little competition hurt anyone? Go paint-balling, go-karting, or rock climbing with your date.

7) Go Hiking: Kick yourself out of bed early in the morning and enjoy the sunshine. Get active while getting to know your date. Hiking gives you a lot of time to talk and look at the scenery.

8) Leave Town: Try something new and leave town. Go explore an area you guys have never been to. Pick a restaurant you wouldn't normally pick and have dinner there.

9) Have A Night In: Cook dinner together and rent a movie you have never seen before. You can even make the meal festive for the season.

10) Halloween Movie Marathon: Get ready for the halloween season and rent a bunch of your favorite halloween movies. Cuddle up with a warm blanket, some apple pie, and maybe even a fire.

Try out at least one of these date ideas and I guarantee you won't regret it. And who says you need a date to have fun, grab your friends and take them out!

Love,
Alexa

Words for Wednesday: Change

Change. Some people love it and some people dread it. But remember, progress is impossible without change. I came across a quote I saw on the internet yesterday that said "Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." When life seems like it couldn't get any worse, sometimes it is a sign that you need change in your life. You have to ask yourself why are these bad things happening to me? What could be the cause of the problem? Am I the problem or am I just doing the wrong things? These questions can help you figure out what the problem is, but sometimes even if you aren't the problem a little change in your scene can do wonders. In order to change, one must make a serious effort to change the way they think and what they think about. This may seem so impossible to do, especially when you feel your thoughts racing around in all sorts of directions. But, hopefully I can attempt to help settle your thoughts and inspire a change within all of you with some tips I have below.

1) Identify the Problem: I don't mean by blaming others for the situation you are in. I mean, take a closer look at yourself to figure out why you do the things you do. Figure out why you attract certain people who may not be good in your life. Figure out why you act out and rebel. Figure out why things are not headed in the direction you want them to go. Sometimes this takes a long time to figure out. But, try talking to your friends or your parents or maybe even a professional to figure out the root of the problem.

2) Make Goals: Once you have figured out what the problem is, you need to find out how to fix them. Change won't happen overnight, but you can do small things everyday to help reach your ultimate goal. You need to create a model in your mind on the person you ultimately want to be. What does that person look like? How do they react to situations? What are their values? What do they look for in different relationships and friendships? Make a mental or written list on the qualities of the kind of person you want to be. Use this list to help write your long terms goals. From there, make short term goals you can achieve everyday. For example, if your long term goal is to attract better friends into your life....make short terms goals that can help achieve that. Some short terms goals could include, doing more activities that involve other people you can meet. Join another club or try being friendly to more people on a daily basis.

3) PUT THE PLAN IN MOTION: Don't just sit on these goals and let them get dusty. Actually attempt to change your life. Even when you feel like crying, just get outside. Trust me, it helps just to go outside and get some fresh air. A change in scene can immediately make you feel better. Once you are out and about, follow some things on that list. Change starts with you not with others. You need to become proactive if you are serious about this.

4) Change the Way You Think: This one is the HARDEST step. No matter what you do or what you try, if you are going through a rough time your thoughts will be racing all the time. Sometimes it feels no matter what you do to distract yourself, you just can't do it. However, this attitude of thinking you have no control over your thoughts is what gets you into deep trouble. YOU and ONLY YOU have control over your thoughts. You can CHOOSE to be happy. What I found to be the most helpful in changing the way I think is to not be so SELFISH. Start thinking about what you can do for others instead of your own feelings and sadness. Focus your sorrow or your anger into a cause or a passion. Realize that other people have problems whether they be big or small. Innocent people in other countries are getting bombed while you sit here crying about your problems. That is the most extreme case you can look at, but other people are going through their own problems and their own heartache. Maybe try and help them with their problems. Go out and volunteer or just help a friend out. Focus your mind on something other than YOU. It will help, I promise.

5) Do Things You Enjoy: My last point is to just do things you enjoy. This may seem so impossible to do because you feel like you can't enjoy anything. But, after you have focused your mind on something other than yourself you can find time to do the things you used to enjoy. Go on a small trip somewhere, go outside, go for a hike or a swim,  or go exercise and listen to your favorite music. This will even bring the smallest bit of happiness into your life. Surround yourself with people you love and life should get a little easier.

I know change can be really hard, but sometimes you really do need things to hit rock bottom before they get better. Just keep that in mind and realize that other people are going through even worse things than you. Just count your blessings. Hope this helps you all out!

Love,
Alexa

The Guide to A Successful First Date

First dates are so exhilarating, yet so damn nerve racking! The nerves of finally having some one-on-one time to get to know someone can be overwhelming sometimes. Many thoughts race through our heads such as "Will it be awkward?", "How do I greet them?", and "How do I keep the conversation going?" Sometimes these nerves can get the better of us and prevent us from having an enjoyable time. First dates are really great because you really get to learn about a person and it can so be fun! While some of you may have had bad date experiences, don't let that get you down because all people are different and you may actually meet someone you "click" with. So get rid of those nerves and get excited! Here are some tips I have for a successful first date:

1) Get Rid of The Nerves: This one may be really hard to do, but trust me it is no use being nervous over something that could turn out to be really fun. The best thing you can do if you're nervous is to work it out and do something that gets you excited. Working out naturally makes you feel better and releases some of your anxiety. Plus, it's really good for you! Play some music that gets you pumped up and excited. Take time primping yourself and making yourself feel good. All of this should help with those nerves.

2) Pick A Good Location: Picking a good location is pretty important on a first date. Usually, something casual is great. Go for a casual bite to eat or for a walk or even do something outdoors if it is nice out. Try and avoid movies on a first date because you really don't get to chat and learn about each other. Some of you may want to opt for the movie because you're nervous about awkward silence, but don't let that get to you! Would you rather have awkward silences and get to know someone or wait till your already emotionally involved to learn more about them? Part of making sure if you're with the right person is getting to know them. So, location is key! Do something you both can enjoy, but also have time to talk.

3) The Greeting: How should you greet a person you have either just met or that you are going on a first date with? This one really is a personal preference. If you are usually a friendly outgoing person there is no harm in going in for a hug! You really can never go wrong with that. Even if the other person awkwardly tries to shake your hand while you go in for a hug, it's not a big deal. They are probably just as nervous as how to greet you as you are. Just remember they asked you out, so a hug shouldn't be a bad greeting. If you are uncomfortable with that, then by all means introduce yourself and shake their hand.

4) Asking The Right Questions: After reading up on first dates and the stats on successful first dates, studies show that dates go better when women let the guys ask most of the questions. I'm not sure as to why this is true, but in my book there is no harm in asking questions and getting to know someone better. Sometimes talking about yourself too much can make you seem to into yourself. So ask some questions! Don't make it an interview, but do follow the conversation and ask questions when the conversation heads in that direction. For example, if he asks you about what places you have traveled to or always wanted to go, you can reply and then ask him either the same question or something different. Just make sure to stay clear of any questions regarding religion or politics. Those are usually questions to save for later after you have had your first date.

6) Who Pays?: As a women, always offer to pay for yourself even if you know he wants to pay for you. It's the polite thing to do. If he tells you he has got it, then let him pay...don't go back and forth on deciding who is paying for what. Be gracious and offer, but if he insists to pay then let him. Don't argue!

7) The Goodbye: This one is completely up to you and what you are comfortable with. If you like the person and you guys are clicking, then if you want to you can kiss them. It shows that you really enjoyed yourself. However, if you did like them, but you are afraid of kissing them..then you can either let them kiss you or just tell them what a good time you had and that you would like to hang out again. Just give them a big hug and say thank you. And now worst case scenario, you had a bad time, then just thank them and either hug them goodbye or wave.

POST DATE TIPS:

1) Texting: If you really had a good time and the guy has made it clear to you that he had a good time, you can text them either much later after the date or the next day and just thank them for a good time. It is polite and it lets them know you had fun. However, if they don't respond...DON'T KEEP TEXTING THEM. A lot of guys who are interested will usually text you a day or two after the date. Sometimes they even text the same day. However, if they don't and you still think they had a good time with you, then just text them a "thank you for a good time" and see if they respond. If you are really unsure of how you're date went then let him text you first.
2) Asses The Date, But Don't Over Analyze: After the date you can think about how you either had a good time or a bad time and if you possibly like this person. Just please don't over analyze every little thing! If you feel the date went badly and you were confused why he didn't kiss you, then just leave it alone. If he is still interested he will text you and if he isn't then move on. It isn't a big deal if he doesn't like you back. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Just enjoy dating around and meeting people!

OTHER TIPS:
1) Be Decisive: No one wants to wait around while you take forever to decide what you want to eat or what you want to do. If he gives you some options, then pick one!
2) Dress for The Activity: Never over or under dress for the occasion. If you guys are getting a casual bite to eat or are walking around, dress cute, but definitely not too casual. If you guys are going hiking, then dress appropriately! The only time you should over dress is when he tells you that you are going somewhere really nice.
3) EAT!!!: Some people have this irrational fear of eating in front of the opposite sex. It's time to get over this fear! For the most part, unless you really are a super messy eater, most people don't notice because they are focused on what you are saying. They are most likely to notice if you don't eat anything than if you were to eat.

Hope this all helps with your next first date. JUST ENJOY YOUR TIME!
Love,
Alexa

Hey Jealousy

Jealousy always seems to get even the best of us. It's natural to feel jealous sometimes even if most of the time you are pretty confident. Jealousy only eats up your beauty. Have more faith in yourself, you got something that other people don't. Jealousy can also be a major relationship killer especially when you become so insecure that you start becoming controlling too. It may also seem as though there is no way to get rid of that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach. Comparing yourself to others will never make you feel better, it will only hinder your full potential. Comparing yourself to others arises from low self-esteem and can create a lot of jealousy. So, I have compiled a list of ways to stop this green eyed monster from taking over your beautiful and kickass self. 

1) Do things that make you feel good and sexy: I know I personally feel a lot better about myself when I participate in activities that I enjoy. If you wake up in one of those slumps where you feel insecure and not your best, kick yourself out of bed and go do something you enjoy. For example, I have found that Zumba makes me feel really sexy and free. It releases a lot of stress, helps me get fit, and makes me feel sexy. When there isn't a Zumba class to go to, I listen to music/go to the gym or hang with friends, and maybe read a good book and tan outside. This time to yourself will allow you to get your mind of things, feel sexier, and feel a hell-of-a-lot happier.

2) Stop Asking Bad Questions!!!!: I don't know why people do this one, including myself. Why the hell are we asking ourselves and the people around us questions we don't necessarily want to know the answer to? This will only lead us to disappointment and insecurity. For example, if you are with a new guy or girl, why would you feel the need to ask them all sorts of questions about their exes or their past history? I mean I personally know why. We are all half curious, but also have some insecurity about how we compare to others. Even if we may be curious about people's pasts or other people's lives, we shouldn't ask questions we know will make ourselves feel insecure. Instead focus on the present, your relationship, and yourself. 

3) Be The Best Version of You Possible: What makes me feel better about myself is realizing my true potential. When we compare ourselves to others we have unrealistic expectations for ourselves. Instead, why not just realize your strong points and accentuate those. For example, you may be staring at the hot, tan, skinny, tall, blonde/brunette girl your ex used to date or hook-up with. You might be thinking, how can I look like that? You might think to yourself how can I become taller, tanner, skinnier, blonder, and smarter. If your short, like me, being tall will never happen unless you always wear heels. So, instead embrace who you are. For me, I used to think being short wasn't beautiful, but I slowly realized I love being tiny. I can be picked up by tall men, one of my weaknesses haha! Aside from the things you can't change, work on playing up the great points of yourself. If you have beautiful eyes, play up your make up to show them off. If you have great legs or a stomach, then show them off too. Also, if you still feel insecure you can always just try and be healthy. I'm not talking about trying to become a stick, but just being fit. Go to the gym regularly or when you can, tan during the summer (make sure to wear sunblock!!), get a new haircut, or try and improve your intelligence or your skills in a new hobby you enjoy. All this should help you feel better about yourself in no time!

4) Talk It Out: If you are feeling insecure, sometimes the best thing to do is just to talk it out. Vent to your friends, your family, or a professional. For the people who you can really open up to, let it all out. Sometimes getting things off your chest can just make you feel better instead of letting it foster inside. Also, if you are feeling jealous in a relationship it is always beneficial to talk about your feelings. Don’t over do it though because you can scare your partner. Just tell them your feelings and maybe why you could be feeling this way. Who knows, maybe than can help you and reassure you that things are okay. Just make sure to not control what your partner says or does. Let them help you and not you trying to control them.

5) Be Conscious and Don’t Depend On Praise: Lastly, always be conscious of your own feelings and really try to get to the root of the issue. Why is it that you feel this way? Also, never depend on praise and compliments from others to make you feel confident. Confidence really does come from within and it’s really hard to train yourself to become that way. It doesn’t come easy and it takes a lot of work. 

Hopefully, following my advice can help some of you feel more confident and less jealous of others. In the end, we should all really help each other out and make other people feel better about themselves too. Our society doesn’t just consist of one person, it consists of all of us. Thus, we need to work on being friendlier to each other instead of putting other people down to make ourselves feel better. 

Hope this helps!

-Alexa

Summer Fling, Don't Mean A Thing

The thought of summer flings are always in the back of every single girl's mind and some guys. Having time of from school and the warmth of the beautiful summer air creates the perfect opportunity for a summer romance to come about. Meeting new people, sometimes with the thrill of knowing it's a short-term arrangement, can be exhilarating. Summer flings can be amazing, but what happens when time is up at the end of summer? Sometimes one person falls for the other person and the other doesn't. Sometimes both partners want to continue the arrangement through the year. The question is how do you have a successful summer fling without anyone getting their feelings hurt? I hope to answer that question for you all in this post. Maybe I can help some of you enjoy your short-term romance rather than dread the end of it. So, here are my tips for maintaining a summer fling:

1) Communication: Just as in any other kind of relationship, communication is key! It is really vital to know that you two are on the same page about where things are headed and what you want to get out of the situation. Sometimes people rush into things and enjoy the moment without thinking. While this can be fun, it's important to take a step back and ask yourself what exactly is going on here. Having a conversation with your partner about what you want from this can clear up any confusion you both have. Talk about what you want, where things are headed, and what you are going to do at the end of summer.

2) Throw Your Laundry List Out: I don't mean your actual list of chores, I'm talking about your list of high standard qualities you have so meticulously put together of your future partner. Summer flings aren't meant to be serious, unless you both choose to carry the romance on past summer. So why be so picky? If you are attracted to the person and enjoy being around them, who cares if they aren't interning at a hedge fund or at a law firm and instead work as a waiter? Who cares what their beliefs are? This is meant to be a non-serious-short-term relationship. Also, sometimes it is better to look for people who don't have the boyfriend qualities you want, that way you may not be prone to falling for them. 

3) You, not Jesus, Take The Wheel: Always be in control of your summer romances. You need to make sure you make the most of those eight weeks of non-committed fun. Don't waste your time chasing after someone who is not interested. A challenge is pointless for the little time summer has to offer. Set a timeline and stick to it. Don't waste those few weeks of endless fun.

4) A Good Book Always Has An Ending: If you guys so choose to end things when the leaves change colors and the students head back to school, don't look back. Every good thing sometimes have to come to an end. A summer fling is supposed to be enjoyable, but it's called a summer fling for a reason. Sometimes there is pleasure in things that are meant to only happen once. You enjoy the experience and then it just becomes an amazing memory. Also, if you and your partner don't agree on ending things it can create friction and lead to a bad ending, leaving sour memories for you both. Simply if you both realize you want to end things, keep it amicable. No hard feelings, just great memories and a fun summer. What I am saying above is for people either choosing not to keep the romance going through the year or people who don't agree with their partners on what to do. If both of you decide to keep what you have through out the year, make sure you both are on the same page. I will also write another blog post on how to make a summer romance last through the year. 

I hope these tips help make things clearer on how to have more of a successful summer romance. If you guys have any questions or advice to ask me, comment below or use the contact form box on the left side of my blog. For a list of places to meet people to have a summer fling with, check below.

Until next time,

Alexa

Places to meet possible summer flings:

1) Your job

2) Music Festivals

3) Volunteer opportunities/retreats

4) Summer Classes

5) Tinder/Grindr

Words for Wednesday: Good Relationships

Love is what makes the world go round. But, is all love healthy? Loving the wrong person can be very toxic, but also consuming relationships can be toxic too. It's important to know how to have good relationships and avoid ones that can take a toll on you and the people around you. I'm not even talking about abusive relationships. Relationships can be toxic even if there is no abuse going on. There really isn't that much awareness of what healthy love looks like. The modern perceptions of love are somewhat screwed up if you ask me. So here is my take on a what a healthy/good relationship looks like.

Healthy Relationships: The best way I can describe a healthy relationship is a quote from the poet Khalil Gibran: "Let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of heaven dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your soles."

It wasn't until this year that I really understood what this phrase meant. My mom actually shared this quote with me last summer and at the time I was still too inexperienced to know what real healthy love was. The quote just didn't stick with me until I discovered myself and my own passions when I went off to college this past year. I realized that love isn't supposed to be so consuming that all you do is want to spend time with each other. I realized that it's very important to not spend every waking moment with that person, but instead have some space for your own time to work on your own passions and creativity. The best kind of love is where you can spend the time apart to work on your passions, but then come together as one in the end of the day and support each other. You want to be like two pillars holding up a building. You both are individuals and have your own passions, but you can come together to support a big statue, like a building, with the love that you have built. In my own opinion, this is the definition of a healthy relationship. Of course there are other factors that play into a relationship and I have listed some below, but I think this one is the most important of them all. 

How To Have A Healthy Relationship:

1) COMMUNICATION!!! I cannot stress this one enough, seriously though. Every time a friend asks me for relationship advice, it is usually a communication problem. If you can't communicate honestly and openly with your significant other, how is it possible to have a lasting relationship with them? Say you have problem with something your partner is doing, but you are too scared to tell them...how do you expect them to fix the problem? It sure as hell won't get fixed by beating around the bush. You have to be able to trust your partner in order to have proper communication and if you don't trust them, how can you have an intimate relationship with them?

2) Similar Values and Philosophies: I have found it extremely important for couples to share the same values and philosophies. Having shared interests is important, but having shared values will strengthen the foundation of your relationship immensely. When your partner's values clashes with yours, it creates tremendous discomfort in the relationship.

3) Do Productive Things Together: Instead of just laying around with your significant other, try something new with them. Learn how to dance, play a sport, cook, fish, or play an instrument together. Even travel to new places together and I'm not talking big distances, just something outside of your norm. Doing new things like this can bond couples together and create great memories. Not only is this beneficial to your relationship, but it also benefits you alone.

Hopefully this helps some of you out there realize what you want and don't want in a relationship! If any of you have any questions you can comment on here or use the contact me section in the sidebar.

Love,
Alexa

What I Am Loving This Summer

Summer. Hair gets lighter, Skin gets darker, Water gets warmer, Drinks get colder, Music gets louder, Nights get longer and Life gets better. Hopefully this applies to most of you out there, but if not try some of the things that I am loving this summer.

1) 5 Seconds of Summer: This band has completely taken over my life and my happiness. I remember hearing their first track, She Looks So Perfect, during my last few weeks of my freshman year at college. Not only was the song super catchy, but it was also quite a well thought out song lyrically. I think the song has the ability to appeal to a wide variety of people. After reading up on the band, I discovered a few other songs that have not been released yet and they are really good! My favorite genre of music happens to be punk rock, but this band far exceeds my expectations and really can appeal to a wide range of music tastes. So take a listen to their new album when it comes out July 22.

2) Bucket Lists: I have always been a fan of creating bucket lists, but this summer I have really made it a point to complete more things on my list. Bucket lists are great for pushing yourself to try new things and who knows maybe you will find a new passion or hobby. Summer is also the perfect time to work on checking off those things you have always wanted to do. For inspiration, here are some things on my summer bucket list: watch the sunrise, ride a ferris wheel, spend a day on the boat, go to a rave, go stargazing, go on a road trip, travel to a new place, go camping, go kayaking, and go on a picnic.

3) Suits: Well, ladies and gentleman, Suits is back on this summer on the USA network and I must say I've never been happier. If you haven't watched Suits before, you need to go to Netflix, Amazon Prime, or some illegal site now. Besides Breaking Bad, this show has been a huge addiction for me. I already love law and legal studies, but this show solidifies my passion for it. Even if you don't like law, this show will make you want to be Harvey Spector. You can catch the latest episodes of Suits on the USA Network at 9pm on Wednesdays.

4) Summer Drives: I can totally speak for myself and a few other people I know that summer drives are one of the most relaxing things to do. I just love going on an open road filled with beautiful fields of grass and flowers, rolling all the windows down, blasting my favorite music, and jamming out hardcore while cruising around. Seriously, there is nothing better than this. It's like a little tour of all the beauty summer has to offer. The amazing weather, the great tunes, and the beauty around us can easily add to our happiness.

5) Letting it be and going with the flow: If it is one thing I learned this summer it's not just trying to be productive, but it's also just going with the flow. I was so obsessed with finding an internship this summer that I was letting all that stress get to me. The stress was killing my summer vibes and ruining possibly one of the best summers of my life. I literally tried everything and applied to even the smallest internships. Every place was telling me that I was "too young and only a freshman." Well I finally learned that if no place will take me even with a killer resume, I should just enjoy my summer while it lasts. I don't mean to just lay around and do nothing all day, but I mean do what you love and see where this summer takes you. Start up a project you have always dreamed about or work on a business idea you have thought about doing for ages. Now is the time when you can really try and pursue your dreams. Get that part-time job if you need the money and then follow your dreams when your not working. And of course, when you're not doing either of those things, RELAX! Enjoy your summer! Follow your passions, hang with your friends, have a summer fling, spend time with your family, and most importantly yourself! Don't stress over things that are not happening right now because what will be will be. Just enjoy your time and do the things you have always dreamed of. Now is your time!

I hope you all are having one kickass summer and don't forget to post lots of photos in the process!

Love,
Alexa

Words for Wednesday: Being Yourself

When I was scrolling through Pinterest today I found this quote: "You can't let people scare you. You can't go your whole life trying to please everyone else. You can't go through life worried about what everyone else is going to think. Whether it's your hair, clothes, what you have to say, how you feel, what you believe and what you have. You can't let the judgment of others stop you from being you. Because if you do, you're no longer you. You're someone everyone else wants you to be."

Lately I've been thinking a lot about this. I have always been a big advocate of just being yourself and not caring what other people think about you, but it wasn't until college that I really truly found myself. Parts of my personality that existed in high school became even more prominent in college and I also found myself gaining more confidence. For some people that holds true and for others their personality changes completely.

These days its hard to find truly genuine people because everyone is trying to impress people for whatever their personal reasons are. People begin to lose the power, the passion, the freedom and the joy of being unique. As Dan Coppersmith puts it, "It's much easier to love yourself when you are being yourself." The quote seems perfectly true to me considering, how can you love yourself knowing that you are pretending to be something you're not. I think people are scared of showing their true personalities because they live in constant fear of being rejected. I mean who doesn't want to be loved by everyone? Ultimately, all we want as human beings is to feel accepted. But, what if we can't accept ourselves even if we gain acceptance from others. Are we truly happy then?  I know I wouldn't be happy unless I accepted myself.

We need to stop worrying what others think and focus on how we feel about ourselves. Do we like the person we are? If we do, then what do other people's opinions of us matter. Plus, how can we be sincerely loved by other people if we don't really love ourselves. These are just some things to think about this summer. Are you happy with yourself and the way your life has been going? Are you the person you want to be?

For some of you who don't even know where to start with finding your true self, here are some tips:
1) Work to find your passions and follow them: If you don't know what your true passion is, that's okay. Try different things and find what you do enjoy. When you do find that special something, don't let it get away. Follow it!

2) Know your values: We all have a built in set of personal values. If we loose touch with those values, we loose ourselves. Identify your values and make every effort to live by them.

3) Start doing things you enjoy: If you enjoy playing a sport, listening to a certain genre of music, playing an instrument, or doing a certain hobby. Do it! Don't stop because some one thinks it's stupid. Do what makes you happy.

Love,
Alexa

The College Years: Freshman Year

Normally I don't like to post about myself on my blog, but I thought it would be nice to reflect on this past year at Ithaca College. I cannot be more thankful for this past year of my life. I can honestly say this has been the most eye opening and life changing year for me. The opportunities that came into my life this year have been incredible. When I first really looked into Ithaca College after doing an overnight stay, I fell in love with it. However, I didn't realize how much I could really love it until the moment I stepped foot onto this campus as a college freshman.

Right from the beginning the opportunities came. I found the most amazing friends I could have asked for here and it all started thanks to the Jumpstart Program. Deciding with my roommate to move in early for the Community Plunge Jumpstart Program was the best decision I have ever made. Not only was it a great way to get involved with the downtown Ithaca community, but I met my best friends in the program. I'm so glad to say that we are all really good friends now and I am going to truly miss them this summer! Besides making great friends at Ithaca, there are so many other cool things that happened to me and here are just a few:

1) Meeting Dave Franco and Christopher Mintz-Plasse (aka McLovin): Did I ever imagine only a month into school that I would be meeting two awesome celebrities? I think not. This year the Park School brought the biggest talents to Ithaca. I was lucky enough to bump into these celebrities after staking out Park with one of my friends. Bumping into them going to the bathroom outside the dean's suite was honestly one of the coolest moments of my life.

2) Meeting Chad Hurley (Co-founder of Youtube): Again, Ithaca is awesome. Not only did Chad Hurley come to speak at Ithaca, but I was able to interview him with a few other friends for WICB radio! This was probably one of the highlights of my journalism career. It also gave me a competitive edge in my journalism class considering we had to write a news article on the event due the next morning. The coolest part of the night besides interviewing Chad Hurley was staying up all night with one of my good friends trying to work on our deadline article for class. Both of us felt like real journalists.

3) Becoming a part of ICTV and Radio: Being a Parkie has seriously changed my life forever. I love my park friends and community. Everyone here is so welcoming and willing to help when needed. As a freshman I have already gained so much experience with television and radio. I became an Assistant Producer on Newswatch on ICTV, a newscaster on WICB/VIC Radio, and a reality TV reporter/anchor on Entertainment 16 on ICTV. I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to work with these shows. They have all been such a great learning experience.

4) Meeting Seth Meyers: Weekend Update anyone? This was probably one of the most exciting events I have been to at Ithaca College. I am a huge fan of Seth Meyers and I was so over the moon about him coming to campus. I even got into the mini-course he did a Q & A for and sat in the front row. Listening to the advice and stories he gave made me really excited to start my career in the entertainment industry.

5) Meeting all my Ithaca friends: Coming to college for the first time I was so worried about making good friends. Little did I know that I would meet such amazing and relatable people. I have to say it was honestly luck how we all met. I really have to blame Jumpstart for that one. The group of girls I was put into a group with to go around the Ithaca neighborhood to go get signatures for a petition, are great friends of mine today. Some how we all just clicked. We all have the same humor and such distinctive personalities. I can laugh with these girls, cry with these girls, and most of all love these girls :) Thank you Ithaca for introducing me to such cool people.

There are so many specific events/memories I could talk on and on about, but I don't want to bore anyone haha. Overall, this year has been an incredible experience. I don't want my freshman year to end. I never knew I could love college so much until I got here. I am excited to go back to my hometown, but I'm also sad to leave the place I can now call home. But I'll see you in 16 weeks, Ithaca!!

Hope you all have one kickass summer! Enjoy the warmth before we all head back to the tundra/home we call Ithaca, NY.

Love,
Alexa

Things to Do Before School Lets Out

As all of us know summer is just around the corner, even if the weather in Ithaca doesn't make it seem like it is. Second semester is almost over and we just have a few weeks left to do some pretty damn cool things. It is also a time to end things on a good note and not leave unfinished business. So here are some things to do before school lets out for the summer:

1) Tie up loose ends: No one wants to go into summertime with unfinished business. Leaving things unclear can have lasting effects on your summer. You want to be able to enjoy your time with your friends and not think about what you left behind at school. If you feel like you haven't resolved things with someone, now is the time to do so. Reach out to them and tell them how you feel. After all, if they don't feel the same, you don't have to see them for a while, and if they do feel the same, then you wouldn't have to wonder what could have been.

2) Take a risk: Now is the chance to have your last hurrah, so take it! Do an activity that you are afraid of trying or tell the person you like how you feel. Honestly, the worst that can come of it is that they may not like you back, and, like I said, that is okay because you don't have to see them for awhile. Do something crazy with your friends and make one last memory. Don't forget to take pictures, of course.

3) Change up your scene: Though most people would say to spend more time near your college before heading home for break, I say differently. Go somewhere new with your friends and explore the area. Take an overnight trip somewhere with your friends and meet new people there. In fact, you can be who ever you want to be in a new area. Give yourself a fake identity and have fun with it. Act differently than you normally would, especially if you will never see these people again. Sometimes it's fun to break from your mold and be someone different.

4) Hook, Line, and Sinker: Go fishing with your friends one night and no I'm not talking about actually going fishing. I mean go out with your friends to a party and see how many people you can flirt with/pick up. Make it a game and whoever wins gets the satisfaction of people flirting back. It is just something fun to do and a great way to meet people.

5) Participate in Kendall Day/any other party day: I'm not encouraging you guys to get drunk, but definitely go out on Kendall Day. Even if you choose not to drink, do some fun activities with your friends. Go gorge-jumping or paint balling. Spend the day just doing absolutely crazy fun things with your friends. I mean it is your last chance to live it up before summer.

Hope you all have a great rest of the semester and enjoy summer when it rolls around!

Love,
Alexa

College Dating 101

The realm of college dating seems like a complicated one for many. Well, in reality....that can be true. However, after my friends and my own college experiences I have learned a way to navigate this new dating pool. So here are some of tips I can attempt to give you all to help make dating in college a little easier for everyone.

1) Never Assume It's A Date: If it's anything I have learned in college, it is never to assume anything. Things are much different in college than they were in high school. When someone asks you to hang out or go out somewhere, it does not necessarily mean it is a date. I mean it very well could be, but if you go in there with no expectations you won't get disappointed. Treat the person as just a friend. Just enjoy the conversation, but really try to make it seem in your head that you guys are just friends and nothing more unless they explicitly say it is a date. Also, sometimes people change their minds for whatever reason. Thus, just being able to enjoy yourself with no expectations is important.

2) Don't Over-Analyze: As humans most of us tend to over-analyze every damn thing. Well, it is finally time to break that bad habit. This means stop thinking about what everything a person does means! If someone thinks you are attractive, just take it as that. It doesn't necessarily mean they like you or they want a relationship. Just because someone acts like they like you or tells you they like you does not make them want to be in a relationship. Nothing you will do will change their mind, so stop trying. If they want to be in a relationship they will tell you. Just try and distract yourself, fill your empty time up with something you enjoy doing so you can't think about things.

3) Be Straight-Forward: This one annoys me the most. What many people don't realize is that saying what is on your mind and being straight forward is the best policy. It happens all way to often that people miscommunicate with each other or don't communicate at all. This leads to so much confusion about what you want from each other. If you don't want to date right now, tell the person right away. Tell them that you just want to hangout as friends because you don't have time for a relationship. Or if you do want to date the person, tell them that. Also, if you don't know where you want things to go, then just let them know that. People spend so much time beating around the bush that they don't realize that telling them straight up is so much easier.

4) Keep Options Open Until It's Official: Don't stop talking to people just because you like someone, at least not until you guys are official. This period is the time to see different people and figure out your options. Sometimes things don't work out with that certain someone, so don't put all your eggs in one basket. All I'm saying is just to do you and do what you want to do until you are official. You don't have to give up your fun until you are exclusive.

5) Go With The Flow: Like I mentioned above, do you! Just have fun with this new experience. Take things as they come and follow them. Take a seat and enjoy the ride. Again, no expectations and no disappointments. Just follow the path ahead of you and take time getting to know people and having fun. When your not looking, the best things pop up!

Most of these tips seem like they would be easy to follow, but it's not so easy to train yourself to take the advice and follow it. Some people have to actually experience something to understand it. If you are that kind of person, take this advice and see what you can make of it. I hope it helps clear up at least what I have learned with college dating.

Disclaimer: These are just things myself and my friends have learned in college. None of these are facts, most are opinions based off of experiences.

Love,
Alexa

Things To Do This Spring

Things To Do This Spring

1) Sign up for a 5k run or walk: This is a really fun idea to do with a big group of your friends. It's an awesome way to all get together and enjoy the great outdoors. Many runs and walks are held in the spring time, specifically the Color Run where you get splashed with your favorite colors when running with your friends. 

2) Go cliff/gorge jumping: Spring is the time to start fresh and try new things. So why not go gorge jumping? I've heard its quite the experience and definitely something to try with your friends when the weather gets nice.

3) Go on more dates: What better way to enjoy the spring time than go on fun outdoor dates? Seriously whether you go with your significant other or a complete stranger, just get out there! Go visit a theme park, have a picnic, go camping, or take a road trip. Spring and summer are the only times to do this, so take advantage of the nice weather. Love is in the air

4) Take a road trip with your friends: It doesn't have to be anywhere expensive. All you need are a car, gas, and your friends. You can even go somewhere close by, like the lake. Take a weekend to just spend time with your friends and make some damn good memories. Also, make sure to have some cool tunes to listen too!

5) Explore the fun activities in your area: Depending on where you live, there are many different fun things to do in spring. Here is a list of some activities: ATV's, kayaking, boating, paintballing, hiking, jet skiing and camping.

Hopefully this list has inspired some of you to get moving this spring! After a long winter in Ithaca, NY I can truly say I am at least excited for spring. So get out there and enjoy the beautiful weather while it lasts!

Love,

Alexa

5 Tips to De-Stress During Mid-Term Week

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose on thought over another." -William James


Yes, it's that dreaded time of year again, mid-term week. This means you have to take extra care of your body both mentally and physically. Don't let yourself completely suffer the week before spring break. Take some time out of your busy schedule to just RELAX. It may seem impossible to find time to even take a second to yourself, but trust me even 10 minutes can make a difference. So here are some tips to just relax during mid-term week:

1) Exercise- I know this one is on literally every list on how to de-stress, but it seriously works. You may not have time to actually go to the gym during this chaotic time, but try taking even 5 min to even just stretch on the floor or on your bed. Do some jumping jax or a handstand and get the blood flowing to your head. Studies show you need blood circulation to your head for your health and it will help you gain a little energy to study better.

2) Do something that makes you happy- I mean something small you can do in a few minutes. It might be impossible to go watch a movie, but try taking 20 minutes to write a journal entry or maybe dance a little. Instead of taking an hour, just take a few minutes to do the small things you love doing. A few examples are: listen to music, dance, write, read, play an instrument, or even talk to your friends. (BUT DON'T OVER DO IT!)

3) Laugh it off- No, I don't mean screw your exam. I mean take some time to laugh with your friends. Laughter is also proven to create happiness not just in you, but in others as well. Crack a few jokes with your friends or reminisce about funny times you all had together. Nothing is better than just being with your friends for little and roll on the floor laughing.

4) Unplug and Take a Hot Shower- Turn off all your devices, put your books away and go take a hot shower. Relax your mind and enjoy the steam. Take extra time to pamper yourself and just focus on you for a while. Really nothing is better than that.

5) End the day on a good note- Take the last 20 or 30 minutes of your night to just breathe and think of the things you are thankful for. Honestly, if you think about what you are thankful for, you are less likely to complain and think you are in hell. Breathing also is proven to help your body relax. Maybe even put on some relaxing music to help you fall asleep and drink some warm caffeine-free tea. Just remember that after this week, all of you will either be home or vacationing somewhere cool. Once this is all over, you can finally just relax and enjoy a nice home-cooked meal.

For most of you, it will be hard to do all of these things in one day. They are not meant to be in one day, unless you have a lot of time on your hands haha. Do one of these things each day of the week and you will feel much less stressed out. Just remember, nothing is worth stressing over. Do study, but don't cram. You know all the information you need and all you have to do is extract it from your brain. Don't worry because life is way to short to panic. Follow the steps above next week and I promise that you will feel better. All you need is to create 20-30 minutes to do one of the activities above per day and you will be all set. So good luck and let the odds be ever in your favor!

Till next time,
Alexa

Living Life As Though it's Your Last Day

In light of the very sad and tragic news about the deaths of two people and many others in this world, I want to dedicate this blog post to everyone out there who should be living life like it is their last day because today made me realize that life really is/can be short. People should not be passing away at such a young age. You never know when your last day can be and it is so important to remind the people in your life how much you love and appreciate them. "Eventually life will send you new people and new dreams, cherish this time to grow and learn, cherish what the universe is teaching you now." So here are some of the ways you can live life as though it is your last day.

1) Always let "I love you" or something appreciative be the last thing you say to someone. You never know when the last time you will see someone is. You want the people in your life to know how much they mean to you before you can't tell them anymore. One day you will regret not telling people how you feel because you may never get the chance again. Never end on a bad note even if you are fighting with that person, let them know at the end of the conversation how much they mean to you. Always be the bigger person because they will appreciate that in the end. So spread the love!

2) Do something new everyday. It doesn't have to be as dramatic as going skydiving, but doing something simple everyday can add so much more excitement to your life. "Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage and I promise you something great will come of it." You never want to leave this world thinking about what you could have done and should have done. Live with no regrets and try a new hobby, learn how to play the guitar, or learn a new language. Not only does this allow you to do things you have always wanted to do, but it also allows you to live in the moment with no regrets. So get out there and try something new everyday! I challenge you all!

3) Do what makes you happy. Life is for sure way to short to not be true to yourself. Why be fake and be someone your not just to please other people. In the end, others will appreciate the sincerity and will like you for you are. You don't need anyone's acceptance except for your own. So don't follow other people's path for you in life, make your own. Do what you love and makes you happy and everything else will follow.

I really hope this helps some of you reflect on your own lives and what you can do to appreciate every second of it. Everyone keeps saying life is short, but no one really understands that until they have experienced a loss. So use this tragic experience to make a difference in your life and in other people's lives. So cheers to living life like it is your last day.

Love,
Alexa

How to Not Give a Crap

Someone noticed the other day how I don't give a crap what people think of me--to some extent lol. It was then it hit me that I really, for the most part, don't care what people think of me. I mean of course I do a little bit, but I consider myself a very confident, outgoing, bubbly person. I wanted to share with all of you my care free ways of life, the I don't give a crap what people think of me. So here are my top 5 ways to say screw you to the world of people who judge others.

1) YOU ARE UNIQUE!!! Embrace it because you only have one life to live and let me tell you, it is not fun pretending to be someone you're not. If you want to be crazy and weird, so be it! The trick to not giving a crap lies in confidence and the only way to truly learn to be confident is to embrace your uniqueness. I personally think unique and different people are cool because you see way too many average people around. I know it may seem hard to try and embrace your uniqueness, but try and take baby steps. Start with being open about the kind of music you secretly like or a hobby you're interested in.

2) BE FERRIS BUELLER AND LIVE IN THE MOMENT!! If you feel like doing something a little out of your comfort zone, take that opportunity and go with it. If life is leading you in a certain direction, take that chance/risk and do something new. Try new food or new clothing. The more small risks you take, the more courageous of a person you become. That courage, in my mind, leads to more confidence and allows you to really embrace yourself and not care what other people think. Now, just because I said take risks, please don't do something really crazy like go get a tattoo. I mean, I'm saying stuff like ask out the guy you like for coffee, try a new hairdo, or go ziplining.

3) DO WHAT YOU LOVE...I promise you that you will not regret it! Doing what you love not only allows you to be happy, but it also gives you a sense of confidence. If you love and know you are good at something, you will feel better about yourself and thus feel more confident. Go play basketball, film stuff/take photos or go cook something delicious!

4) HAVE PEOPLE AROUND YOU WHO LIKE YOU FOR YOU! Having a good social group is a must for life. The people you hang around with the most should be people who encourage you to be yourself and be different. Seek out friends who have that attitude or who have those same different interests. It is so important to be comfortable around your friends before you can be truly comfortable with being yourself in front of the whole world.

5) OWN IT!!! Seriously when it comes down to it, we really only get to live once. So own it! Own what you got and what you want. Just trust your gut and your instincts. We all have things that makes us our own person and what makes people love us. In the end, people really do appreciate those differences. No one just wants a plain, boring, average person. So take risks, live life to the fullest and SMILE. If you make a mistake, don't look back and dwell on it. I know what to many people, including myself, who do this. Just look at it as a learning experience and make sure to not repeat the mistakes. This is all a part of growing up. So just have fun while you are young. Work hard and play hard because we only get one life to live. So work it and OWN IT because you are all awesome people! REMEMBER THAT!

Hope all of these tips helps everyone out there who struggles to not care what others think. So here's to not giving a crap!

Love,

Alexa

UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE PEOPLE PART I

Although I am young, throughout my years of dating boys I have come across what some people may call emotionally unavailable guys. These types of guys are very hard to spot at the beginning, which in turn makes it easy for a dangerous behavior pattern to form. 

Emotionally unavailable people will appear to be available at the beginning by showing certain behaviors that you are most likely to never see again. For example, going the extra mile for you to show they care like buying you chocolates or roses or even driving a distance to see you. These behaviors will eventually stop quite early on in the relationship, usually within the first couple of months. Once these people feel they have you, they usually stop putting in the same effort they used to. This is because these types of people don't want to get emotionally close or sometimes physically close to the other person with usually a fear of something. 

Unavailable people are usually people who have suffered traumatic experiences or come from an environment where they would eventually fear becoming close with someone in the future. Due to this, these people put up extreme walls that are nearly impossible to break. 

They use the beginning stages to woo you so you are so overwhelmed with the amount of attention you are receiving that you don't question why they aren't really opening up to you. Then once they feel they have won you over, the stop the wooing process and back away a little in fear that you may start prying into their lives and finding out more about them. 

This whole process can repeat itself many times until the other person finally gets fed up and does something about it. Now to set the record straight, unavailable people usually aren't consciously making these actions. In fact, most of these behaviors are very subconscious and these people aren't truly aware of what they are doing. 

As for how to try and fix an emotionally unavailable person, you can't. That's the unfortunate and hard truth. If you keep coming back, they keep pushing and pulling. The problems that unavailable people have can only be solved with therapy or them realizing they have a problem and fixing it themselves. Thus, if you are in an emotionally unavailable relationship, YOU ARE NOT THE REASON THEY ARE ACTING THIS WAY, IT IS THEIR OWN PROBLEM. For more on this issue, I will be posting a few more blog posts about this as it is such a huge topic. For questions leave comments on this post.

For signs of an emotionally unavailable person check this out: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/how-to-spot-emotionally-unavailable-men/

For further reading check out the book Mr. Unavailable and The Fallback Girl: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/my-books/mr-unavailable-and-the-fallback-girl-book-one/ 

Welcome to Naked Lunch, my blog for advice on everything beauty, fitness, college and relationship related! Most of you reading this blog may think, "how can she possibly be giving advice to people when she is only 18?" However, even though I am so young I actually have a lot of experience in life and would love to be able to share some of my knowledge with you all. My interest in beauty began when I was 13. While browsing through YouTube, I discovered the large beauty community that exists on the internet. I've been following various people on YouTube for many years now as well as reading Cosmopolitan and Seventeen Magazine. Through reading these magazines, I discovered that I really enjoy researching beauty, fitness, and relationships. Also with my own experiences in relationships, I have come to really try and understand why people do the things they do and how to correct some of those behaviors. My goal with this blog is to share everything I've learned with the public. I want to be able to help people not just in their relationships, but with their overall beauty. I hope you all enjoy my new blog and have a very Happy Belated New Year!