Words for Wednesday: Good Relationships

Love is what makes the world go round. But, is all love healthy? Loving the wrong person can be very toxic, but also consuming relationships can be toxic too. It's important to know how to have good relationships and avoid ones that can take a toll on you and the people around you. I'm not even talking about abusive relationships. Relationships can be toxic even if there is no abuse going on. There really isn't that much awareness of what healthy love looks like. The modern perceptions of love are somewhat screwed up if you ask me. So here is my take on a what a healthy/good relationship looks like.

Healthy Relationships: The best way I can describe a healthy relationship is a quote from the poet Khalil Gibran: "Let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of heaven dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your soles."

It wasn't until this year that I really understood what this phrase meant. My mom actually shared this quote with me last summer and at the time I was still too inexperienced to know what real healthy love was. The quote just didn't stick with me until I discovered myself and my own passions when I went off to college this past year. I realized that love isn't supposed to be so consuming that all you do is want to spend time with each other. I realized that it's very important to not spend every waking moment with that person, but instead have some space for your own time to work on your own passions and creativity. The best kind of love is where you can spend the time apart to work on your passions, but then come together as one in the end of the day and support each other. You want to be like two pillars holding up a building. You both are individuals and have your own passions, but you can come together to support a big statue, like a building, with the love that you have built. In my own opinion, this is the definition of a healthy relationship. Of course there are other factors that play into a relationship and I have listed some below, but I think this one is the most important of them all. 

How To Have A Healthy Relationship:

1) COMMUNICATION!!! I cannot stress this one enough, seriously though. Every time a friend asks me for relationship advice, it is usually a communication problem. If you can't communicate honestly and openly with your significant other, how is it possible to have a lasting relationship with them? Say you have problem with something your partner is doing, but you are too scared to tell them...how do you expect them to fix the problem? It sure as hell won't get fixed by beating around the bush. You have to be able to trust your partner in order to have proper communication and if you don't trust them, how can you have an intimate relationship with them?

2) Similar Values and Philosophies: I have found it extremely important for couples to share the same values and philosophies. Having shared interests is important, but having shared values will strengthen the foundation of your relationship immensely. When your partner's values clashes with yours, it creates tremendous discomfort in the relationship.

3) Do Productive Things Together: Instead of just laying around with your significant other, try something new with them. Learn how to dance, play a sport, cook, fish, or play an instrument together. Even travel to new places together and I'm not talking big distances, just something outside of your norm. Doing new things like this can bond couples together and create great memories. Not only is this beneficial to your relationship, but it also benefits you alone.

Hopefully this helps some of you out there realize what you want and don't want in a relationship! If any of you have any questions you can comment on here or use the contact me section in the sidebar.

Love,
Alexa

What I Am Loving This Summer

Summer. Hair gets lighter, Skin gets darker, Water gets warmer, Drinks get colder, Music gets louder, Nights get longer and Life gets better. Hopefully this applies to most of you out there, but if not try some of the things that I am loving this summer.

1) 5 Seconds of Summer: This band has completely taken over my life and my happiness. I remember hearing their first track, She Looks So Perfect, during my last few weeks of my freshman year at college. Not only was the song super catchy, but it was also quite a well thought out song lyrically. I think the song has the ability to appeal to a wide variety of people. After reading up on the band, I discovered a few other songs that have not been released yet and they are really good! My favorite genre of music happens to be punk rock, but this band far exceeds my expectations and really can appeal to a wide range of music tastes. So take a listen to their new album when it comes out July 22.

2) Bucket Lists: I have always been a fan of creating bucket lists, but this summer I have really made it a point to complete more things on my list. Bucket lists are great for pushing yourself to try new things and who knows maybe you will find a new passion or hobby. Summer is also the perfect time to work on checking off those things you have always wanted to do. For inspiration, here are some things on my summer bucket list: watch the sunrise, ride a ferris wheel, spend a day on the boat, go to a rave, go stargazing, go on a road trip, travel to a new place, go camping, go kayaking, and go on a picnic.

3) Suits: Well, ladies and gentleman, Suits is back on this summer on the USA network and I must say I've never been happier. If you haven't watched Suits before, you need to go to Netflix, Amazon Prime, or some illegal site now. Besides Breaking Bad, this show has been a huge addiction for me. I already love law and legal studies, but this show solidifies my passion for it. Even if you don't like law, this show will make you want to be Harvey Spector. You can catch the latest episodes of Suits on the USA Network at 9pm on Wednesdays.

4) Summer Drives: I can totally speak for myself and a few other people I know that summer drives are one of the most relaxing things to do. I just love going on an open road filled with beautiful fields of grass and flowers, rolling all the windows down, blasting my favorite music, and jamming out hardcore while cruising around. Seriously, there is nothing better than this. It's like a little tour of all the beauty summer has to offer. The amazing weather, the great tunes, and the beauty around us can easily add to our happiness.

5) Letting it be and going with the flow: If it is one thing I learned this summer it's not just trying to be productive, but it's also just going with the flow. I was so obsessed with finding an internship this summer that I was letting all that stress get to me. The stress was killing my summer vibes and ruining possibly one of the best summers of my life. I literally tried everything and applied to even the smallest internships. Every place was telling me that I was "too young and only a freshman." Well I finally learned that if no place will take me even with a killer resume, I should just enjoy my summer while it lasts. I don't mean to just lay around and do nothing all day, but I mean do what you love and see where this summer takes you. Start up a project you have always dreamed about or work on a business idea you have thought about doing for ages. Now is the time when you can really try and pursue your dreams. Get that part-time job if you need the money and then follow your dreams when your not working. And of course, when you're not doing either of those things, RELAX! Enjoy your summer! Follow your passions, hang with your friends, have a summer fling, spend time with your family, and most importantly yourself! Don't stress over things that are not happening right now because what will be will be. Just enjoy your time and do the things you have always dreamed of. Now is your time!

I hope you all are having one kickass summer and don't forget to post lots of photos in the process!

Love,
Alexa

Words for Wednesday: Being Yourself

When I was scrolling through Pinterest today I found this quote: "You can't let people scare you. You can't go your whole life trying to please everyone else. You can't go through life worried about what everyone else is going to think. Whether it's your hair, clothes, what you have to say, how you feel, what you believe and what you have. You can't let the judgment of others stop you from being you. Because if you do, you're no longer you. You're someone everyone else wants you to be."

Lately I've been thinking a lot about this. I have always been a big advocate of just being yourself and not caring what other people think about you, but it wasn't until college that I really truly found myself. Parts of my personality that existed in high school became even more prominent in college and I also found myself gaining more confidence. For some people that holds true and for others their personality changes completely.

These days its hard to find truly genuine people because everyone is trying to impress people for whatever their personal reasons are. People begin to lose the power, the passion, the freedom and the joy of being unique. As Dan Coppersmith puts it, "It's much easier to love yourself when you are being yourself." The quote seems perfectly true to me considering, how can you love yourself knowing that you are pretending to be something you're not. I think people are scared of showing their true personalities because they live in constant fear of being rejected. I mean who doesn't want to be loved by everyone? Ultimately, all we want as human beings is to feel accepted. But, what if we can't accept ourselves even if we gain acceptance from others. Are we truly happy then?  I know I wouldn't be happy unless I accepted myself.

We need to stop worrying what others think and focus on how we feel about ourselves. Do we like the person we are? If we do, then what do other people's opinions of us matter. Plus, how can we be sincerely loved by other people if we don't really love ourselves. These are just some things to think about this summer. Are you happy with yourself and the way your life has been going? Are you the person you want to be?

For some of you who don't even know where to start with finding your true self, here are some tips:
1) Work to find your passions and follow them: If you don't know what your true passion is, that's okay. Try different things and find what you do enjoy. When you do find that special something, don't let it get away. Follow it!

2) Know your values: We all have a built in set of personal values. If we loose touch with those values, we loose ourselves. Identify your values and make every effort to live by them.

3) Start doing things you enjoy: If you enjoy playing a sport, listening to a certain genre of music, playing an instrument, or doing a certain hobby. Do it! Don't stop because some one thinks it's stupid. Do what makes you happy.

Love,
Alexa

The College Years: Freshman Year

Normally I don't like to post about myself on my blog, but I thought it would be nice to reflect on this past year at Ithaca College. I cannot be more thankful for this past year of my life. I can honestly say this has been the most eye opening and life changing year for me. The opportunities that came into my life this year have been incredible. When I first really looked into Ithaca College after doing an overnight stay, I fell in love with it. However, I didn't realize how much I could really love it until the moment I stepped foot onto this campus as a college freshman.

Right from the beginning the opportunities came. I found the most amazing friends I could have asked for here and it all started thanks to the Jumpstart Program. Deciding with my roommate to move in early for the Community Plunge Jumpstart Program was the best decision I have ever made. Not only was it a great way to get involved with the downtown Ithaca community, but I met my best friends in the program. I'm so glad to say that we are all really good friends now and I am going to truly miss them this summer! Besides making great friends at Ithaca, there are so many other cool things that happened to me and here are just a few:

1) Meeting Dave Franco and Christopher Mintz-Plasse (aka McLovin): Did I ever imagine only a month into school that I would be meeting two awesome celebrities? I think not. This year the Park School brought the biggest talents to Ithaca. I was lucky enough to bump into these celebrities after staking out Park with one of my friends. Bumping into them going to the bathroom outside the dean's suite was honestly one of the coolest moments of my life.

2) Meeting Chad Hurley (Co-founder of Youtube): Again, Ithaca is awesome. Not only did Chad Hurley come to speak at Ithaca, but I was able to interview him with a few other friends for WICB radio! This was probably one of the highlights of my journalism career. It also gave me a competitive edge in my journalism class considering we had to write a news article on the event due the next morning. The coolest part of the night besides interviewing Chad Hurley was staying up all night with one of my good friends trying to work on our deadline article for class. Both of us felt like real journalists.

3) Becoming a part of ICTV and Radio: Being a Parkie has seriously changed my life forever. I love my park friends and community. Everyone here is so welcoming and willing to help when needed. As a freshman I have already gained so much experience with television and radio. I became an Assistant Producer on Newswatch on ICTV, a newscaster on WICB/VIC Radio, and a reality TV reporter/anchor on Entertainment 16 on ICTV. I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to work with these shows. They have all been such a great learning experience.

4) Meeting Seth Meyers: Weekend Update anyone? This was probably one of the most exciting events I have been to at Ithaca College. I am a huge fan of Seth Meyers and I was so over the moon about him coming to campus. I even got into the mini-course he did a Q & A for and sat in the front row. Listening to the advice and stories he gave made me really excited to start my career in the entertainment industry.

5) Meeting all my Ithaca friends: Coming to college for the first time I was so worried about making good friends. Little did I know that I would meet such amazing and relatable people. I have to say it was honestly luck how we all met. I really have to blame Jumpstart for that one. The group of girls I was put into a group with to go around the Ithaca neighborhood to go get signatures for a petition, are great friends of mine today. Some how we all just clicked. We all have the same humor and such distinctive personalities. I can laugh with these girls, cry with these girls, and most of all love these girls :) Thank you Ithaca for introducing me to such cool people.

There are so many specific events/memories I could talk on and on about, but I don't want to bore anyone haha. Overall, this year has been an incredible experience. I don't want my freshman year to end. I never knew I could love college so much until I got here. I am excited to go back to my hometown, but I'm also sad to leave the place I can now call home. But I'll see you in 16 weeks, Ithaca!!

Hope you all have one kickass summer! Enjoy the warmth before we all head back to the tundra/home we call Ithaca, NY.

Love,
Alexa

Things to Do Before School Lets Out

As all of us know summer is just around the corner, even if the weather in Ithaca doesn't make it seem like it is. Second semester is almost over and we just have a few weeks left to do some pretty damn cool things. It is also a time to end things on a good note and not leave unfinished business. So here are some things to do before school lets out for the summer:

1) Tie up loose ends: No one wants to go into summertime with unfinished business. Leaving things unclear can have lasting effects on your summer. You want to be able to enjoy your time with your friends and not think about what you left behind at school. If you feel like you haven't resolved things with someone, now is the time to do so. Reach out to them and tell them how you feel. After all, if they don't feel the same, you don't have to see them for a while, and if they do feel the same, then you wouldn't have to wonder what could have been.

2) Take a risk: Now is the chance to have your last hurrah, so take it! Do an activity that you are afraid of trying or tell the person you like how you feel. Honestly, the worst that can come of it is that they may not like you back, and, like I said, that is okay because you don't have to see them for awhile. Do something crazy with your friends and make one last memory. Don't forget to take pictures, of course.

3) Change up your scene: Though most people would say to spend more time near your college before heading home for break, I say differently. Go somewhere new with your friends and explore the area. Take an overnight trip somewhere with your friends and meet new people there. In fact, you can be who ever you want to be in a new area. Give yourself a fake identity and have fun with it. Act differently than you normally would, especially if you will never see these people again. Sometimes it's fun to break from your mold and be someone different.

4) Hook, Line, and Sinker: Go fishing with your friends one night and no I'm not talking about actually going fishing. I mean go out with your friends to a party and see how many people you can flirt with/pick up. Make it a game and whoever wins gets the satisfaction of people flirting back. It is just something fun to do and a great way to meet people.

5) Participate in Kendall Day/any other party day: I'm not encouraging you guys to get drunk, but definitely go out on Kendall Day. Even if you choose not to drink, do some fun activities with your friends. Go gorge-jumping or paint balling. Spend the day just doing absolutely crazy fun things with your friends. I mean it is your last chance to live it up before summer.

Hope you all have a great rest of the semester and enjoy summer when it rolls around!

Love,
Alexa

College Dating 101

The realm of college dating seems like a complicated one for many. Well, in reality....that can be true. However, after my friends and my own college experiences I have learned a way to navigate this new dating pool. So here are some of tips I can attempt to give you all to help make dating in college a little easier for everyone.

1) Never Assume It's A Date: If it's anything I have learned in college, it is never to assume anything. Things are much different in college than they were in high school. When someone asks you to hang out or go out somewhere, it does not necessarily mean it is a date. I mean it very well could be, but if you go in there with no expectations you won't get disappointed. Treat the person as just a friend. Just enjoy the conversation, but really try to make it seem in your head that you guys are just friends and nothing more unless they explicitly say it is a date. Also, sometimes people change their minds for whatever reason. Thus, just being able to enjoy yourself with no expectations is important.

2) Don't Over-Analyze: As humans most of us tend to over-analyze every damn thing. Well, it is finally time to break that bad habit. This means stop thinking about what everything a person does means! If someone thinks you are attractive, just take it as that. It doesn't necessarily mean they like you or they want a relationship. Just because someone acts like they like you or tells you they like you does not make them want to be in a relationship. Nothing you will do will change their mind, so stop trying. If they want to be in a relationship they will tell you. Just try and distract yourself, fill your empty time up with something you enjoy doing so you can't think about things.

3) Be Straight-Forward: This one annoys me the most. What many people don't realize is that saying what is on your mind and being straight forward is the best policy. It happens all way to often that people miscommunicate with each other or don't communicate at all. This leads to so much confusion about what you want from each other. If you don't want to date right now, tell the person right away. Tell them that you just want to hangout as friends because you don't have time for a relationship. Or if you do want to date the person, tell them that. Also, if you don't know where you want things to go, then just let them know that. People spend so much time beating around the bush that they don't realize that telling them straight up is so much easier.

4) Keep Options Open Until It's Official: Don't stop talking to people just because you like someone, at least not until you guys are official. This period is the time to see different people and figure out your options. Sometimes things don't work out with that certain someone, so don't put all your eggs in one basket. All I'm saying is just to do you and do what you want to do until you are official. You don't have to give up your fun until you are exclusive.

5) Go With The Flow: Like I mentioned above, do you! Just have fun with this new experience. Take things as they come and follow them. Take a seat and enjoy the ride. Again, no expectations and no disappointments. Just follow the path ahead of you and take time getting to know people and having fun. When your not looking, the best things pop up!

Most of these tips seem like they would be easy to follow, but it's not so easy to train yourself to take the advice and follow it. Some people have to actually experience something to understand it. If you are that kind of person, take this advice and see what you can make of it. I hope it helps clear up at least what I have learned with college dating.

Disclaimer: These are just things myself and my friends have learned in college. None of these are facts, most are opinions based off of experiences.

Love,
Alexa

Things To Do This Spring

Things To Do This Spring

1) Sign up for a 5k run or walk: This is a really fun idea to do with a big group of your friends. It's an awesome way to all get together and enjoy the great outdoors. Many runs and walks are held in the spring time, specifically the Color Run where you get splashed with your favorite colors when running with your friends. 

2) Go cliff/gorge jumping: Spring is the time to start fresh and try new things. So why not go gorge jumping? I've heard its quite the experience and definitely something to try with your friends when the weather gets nice.

3) Go on more dates: What better way to enjoy the spring time than go on fun outdoor dates? Seriously whether you go with your significant other or a complete stranger, just get out there! Go visit a theme park, have a picnic, go camping, or take a road trip. Spring and summer are the only times to do this, so take advantage of the nice weather. Love is in the air

4) Take a road trip with your friends: It doesn't have to be anywhere expensive. All you need are a car, gas, and your friends. You can even go somewhere close by, like the lake. Take a weekend to just spend time with your friends and make some damn good memories. Also, make sure to have some cool tunes to listen too!

5) Explore the fun activities in your area: Depending on where you live, there are many different fun things to do in spring. Here is a list of some activities: ATV's, kayaking, boating, paintballing, hiking, jet skiing and camping.

Hopefully this list has inspired some of you to get moving this spring! After a long winter in Ithaca, NY I can truly say I am at least excited for spring. So get out there and enjoy the beautiful weather while it lasts!

Love,

Alexa