Love is what makes the world go round. But, is all love healthy? Loving the wrong person can be very toxic, but also consuming relationships can be toxic too. It's important to know how to have good relationships and avoid ones that can take a toll on you and the people around you. I'm not even talking about abusive relationships. Relationships can be toxic even if there is no abuse going on. There really isn't that much awareness of what healthy love looks like. The modern perceptions of love are somewhat screwed up if you ask me. So here is my take on a what a healthy/good relationship looks like.
Healthy Relationships: The best way I can describe a healthy relationship is a quote from the poet Khalil Gibran: "Let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of heaven dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your soles."
It wasn't until this year that I really understood what this phrase meant. My mom actually shared this quote with me last summer and at the time I was still too inexperienced to know what real healthy love was. The quote just didn't stick with me until I discovered myself and my own passions when I went off to college this past year. I realized that love isn't supposed to be so consuming that all you do is want to spend time with each other. I realized that it's very important to not spend every waking moment with that person, but instead have some space for your own time to work on your own passions and creativity. The best kind of love is where you can spend the time apart to work on your passions, but then come together as one in the end of the day and support each other. You want to be like two pillars holding up a building. You both are individuals and have your own passions, but you can come together to support a big statue, like a building, with the love that you have built. In my own opinion, this is the definition of a healthy relationship. Of course there are other factors that play into a relationship and I have listed some below, but I think this one is the most important of them all.
How To Have A Healthy Relationship:
1) COMMUNICATION!!! I cannot stress this one enough, seriously though. Every time a friend asks me for relationship advice, it is usually a communication problem. If you can't communicate honestly and openly with your significant other, how is it possible to have a lasting relationship with them? Say you have problem with something your partner is doing, but you are too scared to tell them...how do you expect them to fix the problem? It sure as hell won't get fixed by beating around the bush. You have to be able to trust your partner in order to have proper communication and if you don't trust them, how can you have an intimate relationship with them?
2) Similar Values and Philosophies: I have found it extremely important for couples to share the same values and philosophies. Having shared interests is important, but having shared values will strengthen the foundation of your relationship immensely. When your partner's values clashes with yours, it creates tremendous discomfort in the relationship.
3) Do Productive Things Together: Instead of just laying around with your significant other, try something new with them. Learn how to dance, play a sport, cook, fish, or play an instrument together. Even travel to new places together and I'm not talking big distances, just something outside of your norm. Doing new things like this can bond couples together and create great memories. Not only is this beneficial to your relationship, but it also benefits you alone.
Hopefully this helps some of you out there realize what you want and don't want in a relationship! If any of you have any questions you can comment on here or use the contact me section in the sidebar.
Love,
Alexa
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