First dates are so exhilarating, yet so damn nerve racking! The nerves of finally having some one-on-one time to get to know someone can be overwhelming sometimes. Many thoughts race through our heads such as "Will it be awkward?", "How do I greet them?", and "How do I keep the conversation going?" Sometimes these nerves can get the better of us and prevent us from having an enjoyable time. First dates are really great because you really get to learn about a person and it can so be fun! While some of you may have had bad date experiences, don't let that get you down because all people are different and you may actually meet someone you "click" with. So get rid of those nerves and get excited! Here are some tips I have for a successful first date:
1) Get Rid of The Nerves: This one may be really hard to do, but trust me it is no use being nervous over something that could turn out to be really fun. The best thing you can do if you're nervous is to work it out and do something that gets you excited. Working out naturally makes you feel better and releases some of your anxiety. Plus, it's really good for you! Play some music that gets you pumped up and excited. Take time primping yourself and making yourself feel good. All of this should help with those nerves.
2) Pick A Good Location: Picking a good location is pretty important on a first date. Usually, something casual is great. Go for a casual bite to eat or for a walk or even do something outdoors if it is nice out. Try and avoid movies on a first date because you really don't get to chat and learn about each other. Some of you may want to opt for the movie because you're nervous about awkward silence, but don't let that get to you! Would you rather have awkward silences and get to know someone or wait till your already emotionally involved to learn more about them? Part of making sure if you're with the right person is getting to know them. So, location is key! Do something you both can enjoy, but also have time to talk.
3) The Greeting: How should you greet a person you have either just met or that you are going on a first date with? This one really is a personal preference. If you are usually a friendly outgoing person there is no harm in going in for a hug! You really can never go wrong with that. Even if the other person awkwardly tries to shake your hand while you go in for a hug, it's not a big deal. They are probably just as nervous as how to greet you as you are. Just remember they asked you out, so a hug shouldn't be a bad greeting. If you are uncomfortable with that, then by all means introduce yourself and shake their hand.
4) Asking The Right Questions: After reading up on first dates and the stats on successful first dates, studies show that dates go better when women let the guys ask most of the questions. I'm not sure as to why this is true, but in my book there is no harm in asking questions and getting to know someone better. Sometimes talking about yourself too much can make you seem to into yourself. So ask some questions! Don't make it an interview, but do follow the conversation and ask questions when the conversation heads in that direction. For example, if he asks you about what places you have traveled to or always wanted to go, you can reply and then ask him either the same question or something different. Just make sure to stay clear of any questions regarding religion or politics. Those are usually questions to save for later after you have had your first date.
6) Who Pays?: As a women, always offer to pay for yourself even if you know he wants to pay for you. It's the polite thing to do. If he tells you he has got it, then let him pay...don't go back and forth on deciding who is paying for what. Be gracious and offer, but if he insists to pay then let him. Don't argue!
7) The Goodbye: This one is completely up to you and what you are comfortable with. If you like the person and you guys are clicking, then if you want to you can kiss them. It shows that you really enjoyed yourself. However, if you did like them, but you are afraid of kissing them..then you can either let them kiss you or just tell them what a good time you had and that you would like to hang out again. Just give them a big hug and say thank you. And now worst case scenario, you had a bad time, then just thank them and either hug them goodbye or wave.
POST DATE TIPS:
1) Texting: If you really had a good time and the guy has made it clear to you that he had a good time, you can text them either much later after the date or the next day and just thank them for a good time. It is polite and it lets them know you had fun. However, if they don't respond...DON'T KEEP TEXTING THEM. A lot of guys who are interested will usually text you a day or two after the date. Sometimes they even text the same day. However, if they don't and you still think they had a good time with you, then just text them a "thank you for a good time" and see if they respond. If you are really unsure of how you're date went then let him text you first.
2) Asses The Date, But Don't Over Analyze: After the date you can think about how you either had a good time or a bad time and if you possibly like this person. Just please don't over analyze every little thing! If you feel the date went badly and you were confused why he didn't kiss you, then just leave it alone. If he is still interested he will text you and if he isn't then move on. It isn't a big deal if he doesn't like you back. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Just enjoy dating around and meeting people!
OTHER TIPS:
1) Be Decisive: No one wants to wait around while you take forever to decide what you want to eat or what you want to do. If he gives you some options, then pick one!
2) Dress for The Activity: Never over or under dress for the occasion. If you guys are getting a casual bite to eat or are walking around, dress cute, but definitely not too casual. If you guys are going hiking, then dress appropriately! The only time you should over dress is when he tells you that you are going somewhere really nice.
3) EAT!!!: Some people have this irrational fear of eating in front of the opposite sex. It's time to get over this fear! For the most part, unless you really are a super messy eater, most people don't notice because they are focused on what you are saying. They are most likely to notice if you don't eat anything than if you were to eat.
Hope this all helps with your next first date. JUST ENJOY YOUR TIME!
Love,
Alexa
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