Things to Do Before School Lets Out

As all of us know summer is just around the corner, even if the weather in Ithaca doesn't make it seem like it is. Second semester is almost over and we just have a few weeks left to do some pretty damn cool things. It is also a time to end things on a good note and not leave unfinished business. So here are some things to do before school lets out for the summer:

1) Tie up loose ends: No one wants to go into summertime with unfinished business. Leaving things unclear can have lasting effects on your summer. You want to be able to enjoy your time with your friends and not think about what you left behind at school. If you feel like you haven't resolved things with someone, now is the time to do so. Reach out to them and tell them how you feel. After all, if they don't feel the same, you don't have to see them for a while, and if they do feel the same, then you wouldn't have to wonder what could have been.

2) Take a risk: Now is the chance to have your last hurrah, so take it! Do an activity that you are afraid of trying or tell the person you like how you feel. Honestly, the worst that can come of it is that they may not like you back, and, like I said, that is okay because you don't have to see them for awhile. Do something crazy with your friends and make one last memory. Don't forget to take pictures, of course.

3) Change up your scene: Though most people would say to spend more time near your college before heading home for break, I say differently. Go somewhere new with your friends and explore the area. Take an overnight trip somewhere with your friends and meet new people there. In fact, you can be who ever you want to be in a new area. Give yourself a fake identity and have fun with it. Act differently than you normally would, especially if you will never see these people again. Sometimes it's fun to break from your mold and be someone different.

4) Hook, Line, and Sinker: Go fishing with your friends one night and no I'm not talking about actually going fishing. I mean go out with your friends to a party and see how many people you can flirt with/pick up. Make it a game and whoever wins gets the satisfaction of people flirting back. It is just something fun to do and a great way to meet people.

5) Participate in Kendall Day/any other party day: I'm not encouraging you guys to get drunk, but definitely go out on Kendall Day. Even if you choose not to drink, do some fun activities with your friends. Go gorge-jumping or paint balling. Spend the day just doing absolutely crazy fun things with your friends. I mean it is your last chance to live it up before summer.

Hope you all have a great rest of the semester and enjoy summer when it rolls around!

Love,
Alexa

College Dating 101

The realm of college dating seems like a complicated one for many. Well, in reality....that can be true. However, after my friends and my own college experiences I have learned a way to navigate this new dating pool. So here are some of tips I can attempt to give you all to help make dating in college a little easier for everyone.

1) Never Assume It's A Date: If it's anything I have learned in college, it is never to assume anything. Things are much different in college than they were in high school. When someone asks you to hang out or go out somewhere, it does not necessarily mean it is a date. I mean it very well could be, but if you go in there with no expectations you won't get disappointed. Treat the person as just a friend. Just enjoy the conversation, but really try to make it seem in your head that you guys are just friends and nothing more unless they explicitly say it is a date. Also, sometimes people change their minds for whatever reason. Thus, just being able to enjoy yourself with no expectations is important.

2) Don't Over-Analyze: As humans most of us tend to over-analyze every damn thing. Well, it is finally time to break that bad habit. This means stop thinking about what everything a person does means! If someone thinks you are attractive, just take it as that. It doesn't necessarily mean they like you or they want a relationship. Just because someone acts like they like you or tells you they like you does not make them want to be in a relationship. Nothing you will do will change their mind, so stop trying. If they want to be in a relationship they will tell you. Just try and distract yourself, fill your empty time up with something you enjoy doing so you can't think about things.

3) Be Straight-Forward: This one annoys me the most. What many people don't realize is that saying what is on your mind and being straight forward is the best policy. It happens all way to often that people miscommunicate with each other or don't communicate at all. This leads to so much confusion about what you want from each other. If you don't want to date right now, tell the person right away. Tell them that you just want to hangout as friends because you don't have time for a relationship. Or if you do want to date the person, tell them that. Also, if you don't know where you want things to go, then just let them know that. People spend so much time beating around the bush that they don't realize that telling them straight up is so much easier.

4) Keep Options Open Until It's Official: Don't stop talking to people just because you like someone, at least not until you guys are official. This period is the time to see different people and figure out your options. Sometimes things don't work out with that certain someone, so don't put all your eggs in one basket. All I'm saying is just to do you and do what you want to do until you are official. You don't have to give up your fun until you are exclusive.

5) Go With The Flow: Like I mentioned above, do you! Just have fun with this new experience. Take things as they come and follow them. Take a seat and enjoy the ride. Again, no expectations and no disappointments. Just follow the path ahead of you and take time getting to know people and having fun. When your not looking, the best things pop up!

Most of these tips seem like they would be easy to follow, but it's not so easy to train yourself to take the advice and follow it. Some people have to actually experience something to understand it. If you are that kind of person, take this advice and see what you can make of it. I hope it helps clear up at least what I have learned with college dating.

Disclaimer: These are just things myself and my friends have learned in college. None of these are facts, most are opinions based off of experiences.

Love,
Alexa

Things To Do This Spring

Things To Do This Spring

1) Sign up for a 5k run or walk: This is a really fun idea to do with a big group of your friends. It's an awesome way to all get together and enjoy the great outdoors. Many runs and walks are held in the spring time, specifically the Color Run where you get splashed with your favorite colors when running with your friends. 

2) Go cliff/gorge jumping: Spring is the time to start fresh and try new things. So why not go gorge jumping? I've heard its quite the experience and definitely something to try with your friends when the weather gets nice.

3) Go on more dates: What better way to enjoy the spring time than go on fun outdoor dates? Seriously whether you go with your significant other or a complete stranger, just get out there! Go visit a theme park, have a picnic, go camping, or take a road trip. Spring and summer are the only times to do this, so take advantage of the nice weather. Love is in the air

4) Take a road trip with your friends: It doesn't have to be anywhere expensive. All you need are a car, gas, and your friends. You can even go somewhere close by, like the lake. Take a weekend to just spend time with your friends and make some damn good memories. Also, make sure to have some cool tunes to listen too!

5) Explore the fun activities in your area: Depending on where you live, there are many different fun things to do in spring. Here is a list of some activities: ATV's, kayaking, boating, paintballing, hiking, jet skiing and camping.

Hopefully this list has inspired some of you to get moving this spring! After a long winter in Ithaca, NY I can truly say I am at least excited for spring. So get out there and enjoy the beautiful weather while it lasts!

Love,

Alexa

5 Tips to De-Stress During Mid-Term Week

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose on thought over another." -William James


Yes, it's that dreaded time of year again, mid-term week. This means you have to take extra care of your body both mentally and physically. Don't let yourself completely suffer the week before spring break. Take some time out of your busy schedule to just RELAX. It may seem impossible to find time to even take a second to yourself, but trust me even 10 minutes can make a difference. So here are some tips to just relax during mid-term week:

1) Exercise- I know this one is on literally every list on how to de-stress, but it seriously works. You may not have time to actually go to the gym during this chaotic time, but try taking even 5 min to even just stretch on the floor or on your bed. Do some jumping jax or a handstand and get the blood flowing to your head. Studies show you need blood circulation to your head for your health and it will help you gain a little energy to study better.

2) Do something that makes you happy- I mean something small you can do in a few minutes. It might be impossible to go watch a movie, but try taking 20 minutes to write a journal entry or maybe dance a little. Instead of taking an hour, just take a few minutes to do the small things you love doing. A few examples are: listen to music, dance, write, read, play an instrument, or even talk to your friends. (BUT DON'T OVER DO IT!)

3) Laugh it off- No, I don't mean screw your exam. I mean take some time to laugh with your friends. Laughter is also proven to create happiness not just in you, but in others as well. Crack a few jokes with your friends or reminisce about funny times you all had together. Nothing is better than just being with your friends for little and roll on the floor laughing.

4) Unplug and Take a Hot Shower- Turn off all your devices, put your books away and go take a hot shower. Relax your mind and enjoy the steam. Take extra time to pamper yourself and just focus on you for a while. Really nothing is better than that.

5) End the day on a good note- Take the last 20 or 30 minutes of your night to just breathe and think of the things you are thankful for. Honestly, if you think about what you are thankful for, you are less likely to complain and think you are in hell. Breathing also is proven to help your body relax. Maybe even put on some relaxing music to help you fall asleep and drink some warm caffeine-free tea. Just remember that after this week, all of you will either be home or vacationing somewhere cool. Once this is all over, you can finally just relax and enjoy a nice home-cooked meal.

For most of you, it will be hard to do all of these things in one day. They are not meant to be in one day, unless you have a lot of time on your hands haha. Do one of these things each day of the week and you will feel much less stressed out. Just remember, nothing is worth stressing over. Do study, but don't cram. You know all the information you need and all you have to do is extract it from your brain. Don't worry because life is way to short to panic. Follow the steps above next week and I promise that you will feel better. All you need is to create 20-30 minutes to do one of the activities above per day and you will be all set. So good luck and let the odds be ever in your favor!

Till next time,
Alexa

Living Life As Though it's Your Last Day

In light of the very sad and tragic news about the deaths of two people and many others in this world, I want to dedicate this blog post to everyone out there who should be living life like it is their last day because today made me realize that life really is/can be short. People should not be passing away at such a young age. You never know when your last day can be and it is so important to remind the people in your life how much you love and appreciate them. "Eventually life will send you new people and new dreams, cherish this time to grow and learn, cherish what the universe is teaching you now." So here are some of the ways you can live life as though it is your last day.

1) Always let "I love you" or something appreciative be the last thing you say to someone. You never know when the last time you will see someone is. You want the people in your life to know how much they mean to you before you can't tell them anymore. One day you will regret not telling people how you feel because you may never get the chance again. Never end on a bad note even if you are fighting with that person, let them know at the end of the conversation how much they mean to you. Always be the bigger person because they will appreciate that in the end. So spread the love!

2) Do something new everyday. It doesn't have to be as dramatic as going skydiving, but doing something simple everyday can add so much more excitement to your life. "Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage and I promise you something great will come of it." You never want to leave this world thinking about what you could have done and should have done. Live with no regrets and try a new hobby, learn how to play the guitar, or learn a new language. Not only does this allow you to do things you have always wanted to do, but it also allows you to live in the moment with no regrets. So get out there and try something new everyday! I challenge you all!

3) Do what makes you happy. Life is for sure way to short to not be true to yourself. Why be fake and be someone your not just to please other people. In the end, others will appreciate the sincerity and will like you for you are. You don't need anyone's acceptance except for your own. So don't follow other people's path for you in life, make your own. Do what you love and makes you happy and everything else will follow.

I really hope this helps some of you reflect on your own lives and what you can do to appreciate every second of it. Everyone keeps saying life is short, but no one really understands that until they have experienced a loss. So use this tragic experience to make a difference in your life and in other people's lives. So cheers to living life like it is your last day.

Love,
Alexa

How to Not Give a Crap

Someone noticed the other day how I don't give a crap what people think of me--to some extent lol. It was then it hit me that I really, for the most part, don't care what people think of me. I mean of course I do a little bit, but I consider myself a very confident, outgoing, bubbly person. I wanted to share with all of you my care free ways of life, the I don't give a crap what people think of me. So here are my top 5 ways to say screw you to the world of people who judge others.

1) YOU ARE UNIQUE!!! Embrace it because you only have one life to live and let me tell you, it is not fun pretending to be someone you're not. If you want to be crazy and weird, so be it! The trick to not giving a crap lies in confidence and the only way to truly learn to be confident is to embrace your uniqueness. I personally think unique and different people are cool because you see way too many average people around. I know it may seem hard to try and embrace your uniqueness, but try and take baby steps. Start with being open about the kind of music you secretly like or a hobby you're interested in.

2) BE FERRIS BUELLER AND LIVE IN THE MOMENT!! If you feel like doing something a little out of your comfort zone, take that opportunity and go with it. If life is leading you in a certain direction, take that chance/risk and do something new. Try new food or new clothing. The more small risks you take, the more courageous of a person you become. That courage, in my mind, leads to more confidence and allows you to really embrace yourself and not care what other people think. Now, just because I said take risks, please don't do something really crazy like go get a tattoo. I mean, I'm saying stuff like ask out the guy you like for coffee, try a new hairdo, or go ziplining.

3) DO WHAT YOU LOVE...I promise you that you will not regret it! Doing what you love not only allows you to be happy, but it also gives you a sense of confidence. If you love and know you are good at something, you will feel better about yourself and thus feel more confident. Go play basketball, film stuff/take photos or go cook something delicious!

4) HAVE PEOPLE AROUND YOU WHO LIKE YOU FOR YOU! Having a good social group is a must for life. The people you hang around with the most should be people who encourage you to be yourself and be different. Seek out friends who have that attitude or who have those same different interests. It is so important to be comfortable around your friends before you can be truly comfortable with being yourself in front of the whole world.

5) OWN IT!!! Seriously when it comes down to it, we really only get to live once. So own it! Own what you got and what you want. Just trust your gut and your instincts. We all have things that makes us our own person and what makes people love us. In the end, people really do appreciate those differences. No one just wants a plain, boring, average person. So take risks, live life to the fullest and SMILE. If you make a mistake, don't look back and dwell on it. I know what to many people, including myself, who do this. Just look at it as a learning experience and make sure to not repeat the mistakes. This is all a part of growing up. So just have fun while you are young. Work hard and play hard because we only get one life to live. So work it and OWN IT because you are all awesome people! REMEMBER THAT!

Hope all of these tips helps everyone out there who struggles to not care what others think. So here's to not giving a crap!

Love,

Alexa

UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE PEOPLE PART I

Although I am young, throughout my years of dating boys I have come across what some people may call emotionally unavailable guys. These types of guys are very hard to spot at the beginning, which in turn makes it easy for a dangerous behavior pattern to form. 

Emotionally unavailable people will appear to be available at the beginning by showing certain behaviors that you are most likely to never see again. For example, going the extra mile for you to show they care like buying you chocolates or roses or even driving a distance to see you. These behaviors will eventually stop quite early on in the relationship, usually within the first couple of months. Once these people feel they have you, they usually stop putting in the same effort they used to. This is because these types of people don't want to get emotionally close or sometimes physically close to the other person with usually a fear of something. 

Unavailable people are usually people who have suffered traumatic experiences or come from an environment where they would eventually fear becoming close with someone in the future. Due to this, these people put up extreme walls that are nearly impossible to break. 

They use the beginning stages to woo you so you are so overwhelmed with the amount of attention you are receiving that you don't question why they aren't really opening up to you. Then once they feel they have won you over, the stop the wooing process and back away a little in fear that you may start prying into their lives and finding out more about them. 

This whole process can repeat itself many times until the other person finally gets fed up and does something about it. Now to set the record straight, unavailable people usually aren't consciously making these actions. In fact, most of these behaviors are very subconscious and these people aren't truly aware of what they are doing. 

As for how to try and fix an emotionally unavailable person, you can't. That's the unfortunate and hard truth. If you keep coming back, they keep pushing and pulling. The problems that unavailable people have can only be solved with therapy or them realizing they have a problem and fixing it themselves. Thus, if you are in an emotionally unavailable relationship, YOU ARE NOT THE REASON THEY ARE ACTING THIS WAY, IT IS THEIR OWN PROBLEM. For more on this issue, I will be posting a few more blog posts about this as it is such a huge topic. For questions leave comments on this post.

For signs of an emotionally unavailable person check this out: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/how-to-spot-emotionally-unavailable-men/

For further reading check out the book Mr. Unavailable and The Fallback Girl: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/my-books/mr-unavailable-and-the-fallback-girl-book-one/