UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE PEOPLE PART I
Although I am young, throughout my years of dating boys I have come across what some people may call emotionally unavailable guys. These types of guys are very hard to spot at the beginning, which in turn makes it easy for a dangerous behavior pattern to form.
Emotionally unavailable people will appear to be available at the beginning by showing certain behaviors that you are most likely to never see again. For example, going the extra mile for you to show they care like buying you chocolates or roses or even driving a distance to see you. These behaviors will eventually stop quite early on in the relationship, usually within the first couple of months. Once these people feel they have you, they usually stop putting in the same effort they used to. This is because these types of people don't want to get emotionally close or sometimes physically close to the other person with usually a fear of something.
Unavailable people are usually people who have suffered traumatic experiences or come from an environment where they would eventually fear becoming close with someone in the future. Due to this, these people put up extreme walls that are nearly impossible to break.
They use the beginning stages to woo you so you are so overwhelmed with the amount of attention you are receiving that you don't question why they aren't really opening up to you. Then once they feel they have won you over, the stop the wooing process and back away a little in fear that you may start prying into their lives and finding out more about them.
This whole process can repeat itself many times until the other person finally gets fed up and does something about it. Now to set the record straight, unavailable people usually aren't consciously making these actions. In fact, most of these behaviors are very subconscious and these people aren't truly aware of what they are doing.
As for how to try and fix an emotionally unavailable person, you can't. That's the unfortunate and hard truth. If you keep coming back, they keep pushing and pulling. The problems that unavailable people have can only be solved with therapy or them realizing they have a problem and fixing it themselves. Thus, if you are in an emotionally unavailable relationship, YOU ARE NOT THE REASON THEY ARE ACTING THIS WAY, IT IS THEIR OWN PROBLEM. For more on this issue, I will be posting a few more blog posts about this as it is such a huge topic. For questions leave comments on this post.
For signs of an emotionally unavailable person check this out: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/how-to-spot-emotionally-unavailable-men/
For further reading check out the book Mr. Unavailable and The Fallback Girl: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/my-books/mr-unavailable-and-the-fallback-girl-book-one/
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